Movie Thread

[Rushy]

Pirates of the Caribbean 5 was one of the most disappointing cinema experiences I've ever had. Really enjoyed the films up until this point, even 4 was alright. But damn, Dead Men Tell No Tales is shit.

Apparently, it's supposed to be the last Pirates film, but knowing Disney, they'll likely revive it in 10 years or less without Johnny Depp.

Nope, they have a Marvel-esque post credits scene setting up another movie.

[Seele]

Fuck...

[Rushy]

Basically, what you can expect with Pirates 5 is Johnny Depp acting like he's stoned off his ass(Jack's basically Homer Simpson in this movie), no good lines for Geoffrey Rush to chew on, inferior stand-ins for Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley, a contrived backstory for Jack Sparrow and some of the worst pacing ever. There seems to be only two acts - one in which all the characters come together(in some Port Royal-esque town) and one in which Salazar chases the pirates around until they use the magical McGuffin to kill him. There's no final showdown, no satisfying climax. Not even a good swordfight.

Also, and this is a personal pet peeve since I actually paid attention to the other four films, there's loads of continuity errors.

[Keith Chegwin]

Only 15 foreign films are allowed a year. Though there taste is a bit different, the Warcraft movie did insanely well while stuff like the new Star Wars didn't do as well as they thought.

It's actually about 60 films, and the number is getting higher.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Nope, they have a Marvel-esque post credits scene setting up another movie.

Movie franchises are the new soap operas: They only ever stop if they crash and burn.

I can't think of anything that would make me want to smash the communist regime more than having a shitload of awful movies cluttering up my local theaters. They'll revolt and then they'll come after Hollywood next.

They love the Hollywood shite. Censorship is so rigorous in China that pretty much the only native Chinese movies that get made are documentaries.

So no more stuff like Jon Woo's Red Cliff? That one was radder than any historical action flick Hollywood shat out this century.

[rabidtictac]

Basically, what you can expect with Pirates 5 is Johnny Depp acting like he's stoned off his ass(Jack's basically Homer Simpson in this movie), no good lines for Geoffrey Rush to chew on, inferior stand-ins for Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley, a contrived backstory for Jack Sparrow and some of the worst pacing ever. There seems to be only two acts - one in which all the characters come together(in some Port Royal-esque town) and one in which Salazar chases the pirates around until they use the magical McGuffin to kill him. There's no final showdown, no satisfying climax. Not even a good swordfight.

Also, and this is a personal pet peeve since I actually paid attention to the other four films, there's loads of continuity errors.

That's every fucking Pirates movie, you shit-tasting pleb. Orlundo Bland and Kiera Portman are fucking awful in these movies.

[Keith Chegwin]

I don't even understand why they'd make another Pirates. The last one was shit and Johnny Depp's box office value is dropping off sharply. I think something like five of the last six movies he's made have all bombed horribly.

[Rushy]

I don't even understand why they'd make another Pirates. The last one was shit and Johnny Depp's box office value is dropping off sharply. I think something like five of the last six movies he's made have all bombed horribly.

The last one also made 1 billion dollars at the box office. Until now at least, Pirates was one of those indomitable kidfriendly franchises that could afford to suck. And even if this one bombs, they'll try again, just to make sure it's dead dead.

[Liar Revealed]

So no more stuff like Jon Woo's Red Cliff? That one was radder than any historical action flick Hollywood shat out this century.

I used to love Hong Kong movies from the 70s though early '90s. Then just before the 1997 handover happened, there was a HUGE drop in quality. Most of these movies were unwatchable. It's said all the most talented actors and artists fled overseas because they didn't want to be part of China. Some of them came to the US, only to make standard Hollywood crap due to studio interference.

[Rushy]

I snagged a special edition of the 1933 King Kong for two bucks, so I'll be watching that for the first time tonight.