Capeshit thread (comics and movies)

[veris leta facies]

It's weird how Wakanda is most advanced nation on earth in this universe and completely closed off from everyone else but they're people still put plates in their lips and fight with spears and sticks.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

If they wanted the spears and sticks to make sense, they should've either borrowed from Stargate (aka have the spears and sticks shoot lazor beams), or go full-on pulp and turn this into Black Flash Gordon (where the Roman-looking guards are just as likely to carry swords as they are to carry rayguns).

[Auli]

The spears and sticks should have not been just spears and sticks... the Stargate thing would have worked.

Or at least had that vibranium or whatever.

And they spoke English. Huh.

Still hilarious that Wakanda actually is what the left hates. With walls and stuff. But mah black pplz

Also no LGBTWQ2OPII+ representation? Homotranslesbiphobes.

[rabidtictac]

I'm pretty sure black panther has some kind of african accent in civil war. I've been watching it absentmindedly today. An african accent implies they speak something else in their native country. Dunno why the fuck they wouldn't have them speaking nigerian or click sounds or whatever.

[Guest]

I'm pretty sure black panther has some kind of african accent in civil war. I've been watching it absentmindedly today. An african accent implies they speak something else in their native country. Dunno why the fuck they wouldn't have them speaking nigerian or click sounds or whatever.

Because that would mean reading subtitles.
Which means having to be able to read.

[Guest]

Marvel needs a slow-clap. It was disgusting how they used race to sell this piece of shit and make it review-proof, but as a good capitalist I can't help but be impressed.

[rabidtictac]

Civil War was pretty bad btw. Not as bad as Age of Baytron, but pretty bad. The plot was like a bad anime. The villain wears a scooby-doo mask to commit crimes so that the avengers think the wrong guy did the crimes. Then everyone has a big slapfight for two fucking hours because

Iron Man: "I am the law"
Captain Ameriga: "muh friend"

Until the end where they reluctantly work together to defeat the big mastermind kind of except not really, then Iron Man and Captain Burgerica slap fight as if they were roleplaying Kugel and Duwango. The big villain tries to An Hero himself (literally he's such a faggot he just wanted to show Iron Man some shitty video proving a brainwashed idiot did something bad, and once the bad guy does he decides to die) but is stopped by Token Black, who learned that vengeance is bad, mmmkay. Even allowing bad people to suicide is apparently bad mmmkay.

The ending baits for black panther with Token Black and Captain Whopper chilling in Magical Negro Land. Winter Soldier gets frozen with magical negro technology and Token Black says that The Wall is strong enough to repel any illegal immigration attempts. Captain Freedom agrees and urges the Donald to build one of his own, the end.

List of characters that sucked shit:

Scarlet Witch
Vision (fuck this gay character)
Black Widow
Falcon? The guy with wings
War Machine
Winter Soldier aka "Bucky"
Ant-Man
Spider-Man (new actor looks and sounds 13 and he sucks up to Stark the entire movie)

4/10 eat my ass mahvul

At least Iron Man was pissed off and about the cry the entire movie. This smug asshole is insufferable when his character is happy.

[Guest]

So Iron Man 3 was the Hellraiser In Space of the series and everything with Tony Stark in it is basically a prequel? Cuz that fucking movie ended with him not being Iron Man anymore but he's in EVERY DAMN MOVIE as Iron Man.

Anyhoo, worst part of the Marvel movies is there aren't any babes to look at. ScarJo is just okay but has been in serious decline since Winter Soldier, and that Olsen triplet is gross.

[Guest]

I love how all these white comic book "journalists" are suddenly lifelong Black Panther fans and are now experts in African culture.

[ban]

Maybe if Mahvel used some ebin maymay soundtrack from a straight-to-bideo knock-off superhero insead of raparoonies and instead of going full "MUH NEGGRO NATION, BIX NOOD MUHFUGGAH WE WUZ SCIENCE NINJAZZ AND SHIIIIIIEEEEETT" it could have been something.



Watching tictac's rage for the Abengers type Mahvul movies is gold on this forum, never stop good sir. But of course, anywhere else it's :



You'd expect this of course to trigger a "muh FAK DA POHLEES" riot automatically but they are too busy posting on social medias and chatroulettes about the movie.

Worst thing is that instead of learning about actual good african culture and history(aka egyptians) they want to learn about the great sub-saharan art of drive-by shooting crackers, mouthplates and neck rings to evolve the human species to a hybrid of giraffe niggers.