Doge Walker and Channel Awesome

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Star Wars kids cartoons are the only places left for actual writers, now that the movies have been taken over by buffoons and the video games are being ruined by more buffoons.

I mean, fuck, this Saw Gerrera guy from Rogue One was first introduced in the Clone Wars cartoon, where he was a loose cannon with a massive hateboner after his sister got blown up. Then Rogue One turned him into a cyborg guy who looked and acted like he just escaped from an insane asylum.

[BenComicGraphics]

I didn't quote anything from the EU, i tried to think how a laser sword with two blade could be used by what amount to a magic user, realism was out the window a while back

I'm not even talking about physics, I'm talking geometry. There are whole spots on Maul's body that he is unable to defend because doing so would mean pushing one of those two blades into his body.

He's using the force which in his case allow him to survive using his lightsaber and to both move and avoid avoid it.

https://pa1.narvii.com/6333/cbcb73e2bcb ... 79f_hq.gif

[Guest]

I'm not even talking about physics, I'm talking geometry. There are whole spots on Maul's body that he is unable to defend because doing so would mean pushing one of those two blades into his body.

He's using the force which in his case allow him to survive using his lightsaber and to both move and avoid avoid it.

https://pa1.narvii.com/6333/cbcb73e2bcb ... 79f_hq.gif

It is , i wont put EU shit about lightsaber forms because thats autistic as shit but suposedly both jedi an sith can predict whats going to happen in a battle with the force making them able to not get cut to shreds with the sabers and block

[BenComicGraphics]

Let's say I predict a plane will fall on my head.

Precognition only tells you how screwed you are, not how to avoid it. lol.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

All this precog talk is giving me 'Nam flashbacks to some of the worst shounen villains out there. Stop it.
(Except for precog guys in One Piece. They just kinda predict shit because they can read your mind, not like those Gary Stus who go all "I can see all possible futures and pick the one I want to happen! Oh wait I can actually create the future I want to happen! Oh wait I can just do whatever the fuck I want!")

If they can truly see what's going to happen the loser might as well give up and get it over with.

Also the very first Star Wars tabletop RPG from West End Games had a rule where fucking up your lightsaber attack roll by too much will have you cut yourself. Fancier lightsabers (like the double-bladed one) are harder to use, making it harder to actually hit and to avoid cutting yourself. I count that as part of the official nerd canon.

[Guest]

Let's say I predict a plane will fall on my head.

Precognition only tells you how screwed you are, not how to avoid it. lol.

Reminds me of this 2:00

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Luffy laters does some fun stuff with that guy's boss, like zoning out or hitting a wall so even he didn't know where his punches would get deflected.

[Guest]

Well, Doge just proved he's more of a drooling retard by completely missing the point of Mars Attacks. He spent the whole review pissing and moaning about how the actors are behaving stiff and that the Martians are annoying and sadistic like that wasn't, you know, the point of the movie. For a movie critic, he really doesn't understand movies.

[Guest]

I don't understand why that depth of character and storytelling can't be written into the movies.

Short answer: Time, money and audience.

It's also the exact reason I basically gave up watching TV meant for 'grown-ups' well over a decade ago. To get the 'good' time slots or mass audience butts in seats, you ultimately need to spend tons of money on flash and star power, which means that getting a return requires loads of pandering and lowest common denominator everything or it won't get made.

This also leads into a long spiel that mostly get summed up as "If you want to make porn, just make porn." I probably have more respect for it than many and see anything (sex, gore, etc) as a tool, but right tool for the right job. Also, it's more than a little outdated because internet. We didn't need to spend a quarter of TFA's two-ish hours on "I'm going to be an idiot because girl" and another quarter on "Woo! Harrison Ford hijinks!"

Kids shows (Rebels is aimed more at the mid-late teens crowd) are simplified, sure, and the restrictions can be downright painful, but they can spend entire seasons on character arcs and take risks because they're, frankly, small enough that no one really cares if they fail.

[Guest]

I don't understand why that depth of character and storytelling can't be written into the movies.

Short answer: Time, money and audience.

It's also the exact reason I basically gave up watching TV meant for 'grown-ups' well over a decade ago. To get the 'good' time slots or mass audience butts in seats, you ultimately need to spend tons of money on flash and star power, which means that getting a return requires loads of pandering and lowest common denominator everything or it won't get made.

This also leads into a long spiel that mostly get summed up as "If you want to make porn, just make porn." I probably have more respect for it than many and see anything (sex, gore, etc) as a tool, but right tool for the right job. Also, it's more than a little outdated because internet. We didn't need to spend a quarter of TFA's two-ish hours on "I'm going to be an idiot because girl" and another quarter on "Woo! Harrison Ford hijinks!"

Kids shows (Rebels is aimed more at the mid-late teens crowd) are simplified, sure, and the restrictions can be downright painful, but they can spend entire seasons on character arcs and take risks because they're, frankly, small enough that no one really cares if they fail.

Rogue One honestly seemed like it would've been much better as a miniseries than a movie. It was alright (the best of the new Star Wars movies IMO, although that's not saying much) but EVERY character was underdeveloped. There were just too many of them doing too much to give any of them enough screen time to care more than "eh, I kind of like that one and that one".