Nasty Cockslut aka Uncle Linky

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

The rank of his Star Trek OC character needs to be consistent.

(Also what's so hard about just storing them where they're easy to find? Like say a little plastic bag in a pocket of his uniform?)

[pibbs]

It's beyond time to round these people up and shove them into a volcano.

‪Bijhan Agha‬
‪@bijhan.bsky.social‬· 3h
Hey @linkara.bsky.social
I'd really appreciate a re-post.

I wrote a comic on Kickstarter about Kobra Olympus, a trans lesbian Muslim superhero who gets orders and tech from the future, and fights a conspiracy of literal monsters.

There's a 13 page preview!

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/ja ... ref=lzlotl

[pibbs]

The Kickstarter blurb is even more insufferable.

Kobra Olympus Issue #3 "Between the Crosshairs!"
A thrilling superhero comic about a trans lesbian Muslim superhero who is racing the clock to save the life of a leftist politician!

[BenComicGraphics]

This sounds so over the top it's like another New Warriors

[wulfenlord]

But does it have muslim dinosaurs?

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

I like how the goal is under 500 dollars, all but ensuring it'll reach its goal.

Also I just had to check out the free 13 page preview.

Abandon All HopeShow

I almost immediately needed a moment to recover, because the first panel of the second page has this:


Allah give me strength. This isn't just sameface. This is samepose.
So the twink in the oddly bulky hijab is our brave "heroine". The other thing is called Dorothy, and I'm just gonna assume she's a cis lesbian because that sounds like the perfect wish fulfillment for this troon story.



The victim of the issue is some probably trans latinx with a last name so incomprehensible I thought I had spontaneously developed dyslexia. We are immediately informed she's the only nice politician in town because she wants to build homeless shelters.



Apparently the way he gets his assignments from the future involves him spotting some specific symbol. Looks more like he's schizophrenic, but whatever.
That's also the entire "mission briefing". All he knows is that she's in danger. That's it.

Onto the exciting henshin sequence!


Nothing to add here, other than his futuristic nanite exosuit being a fucking burqa cracking me the fuck up.

Anyways, using another "secret app" (or is it the same?!), he finds a bomb hidden in the latinx' office and decides to yeet her the fuck out of it

(Also slamming the door is all that's needed to protect them from the blast. Worst. Bomb. Ever.)

No wonder this costs pretty much nothing to fund. I guess the coloring isn't too bad (though the palette's pretty depressing), but everything's so cheap and stiff. This shit'd be meh at best even for a webcomic. I'd love to see our artist attempt an actual fight scene.

Oh, and the author looks like this:


I'm just gonna assume this is a self-insert story, and this Dorothy is based on some chick he stalked in high school.

EDIT: Fuck me there are previews for more of this guy's shit.
EDIT: Also he tried funding a board game for his Time Wars Cinematic Universe (tm).

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

So X-Knights, aka the Power Rangers ripoff.
Sadly the preview doesn't have much of anything. They don't even transform in it.
The characters are a bit odd, though:

Go Go, Queermo RangersShow

According to the Kickstarter page, the walking Blaxploitation stereotype is non-binary.
The fat guy is apparently trans, and I guess there is a faint idea of tit scars.
The androgynous thing is a cis lesbian in her 60s.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Ash Grey and Saturn Olympus is some Western thing using an ancestor of Burqaman I think. Also he's Literally Jax form Mortal Kombat for some reason.
Sadly the preview links are dead, but at least the Kickstarter page itself has this fucking bit of nightmare fuel:

NSFLShow

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Kobra Olympus No. 1 - the stunning first issue - which he had to kickstart twice because the first time didn't work!

SpoilerShow

The second page already has our heroes shit on cis people.


Also note how both character look and dress completely different, even though the 3rd issue is only set one month later. Dorothy is speedrunning her descent into tumblr trash.

His capeshit assignment comes in a fortune cookie:


At least her Schizo-Sense is somewhat more useful in this first issue. Though can't these future blokes just send her messages through her "secret app"?

So evil vampire gimps from the future are raiding a blood bank.


I admit, this is kinda funny.
The thrilling fight scene less so, unfortunately:

It doesn't even look like she's dodging that first punch. That vampire's depth perception is just all kinds of fucked up.

Then one of the vampire gimps presses a button, and the blood assembles into a blood golem. Check out this exhilarating chase scene:

Nice of it to wait until he reached the exist before collapsing the whole building.

Kobra Olympus No. 2 - where our hero gets punched by a girl.

SpoilerShow

We open with our hero doing some yoga pose in a community college. Seriously how old is this dude? Is it normal to be a fucking web developer if you're still in college?
Anyhow, some dyke boxer chick see this twink and figures it'd be fun to beat the shit out of someone at least one weight class below her.

Can't her capeshit outfit look more like this? Seems way more practical.

Our hero is hesitant at first, but the dyke promises him access to her all-lesbian sorority - and he figures that him being a troon will give him an edge.

I wonder what the author thinks about transmen competing in women's sports...

It doesn't go well.

Why is neither of them rocking any mouthguard?

Rocking a convincing abused muslim housewife look, he gets another message from the future.


Of course the first thing to do when as a mysterious message tells you to get help in your quest to stop an evil vampire guy from stealing robots is to ask a dyke boxer chick.
She also immediately recognizes him, which kinda defeats the purpose of putting on a burqa IMO.


And thus, the Lesbian Avengers assemble:


The big action set piece of this preview involves them driving a fucking car through the walls of the robot lab while no one is wearing seatbelts.


I've heard jokes about American walls being made out of cardboard, but this is ridiculous.

Bottom line: Why the fuck did I fall into this rabbit hole?

[Osterzone]

Some butthurt's brewing about TheGamerFromMars's Linky video
https://bsky.app/profile/marzgurl.com/p ... kvugehfl2p

To anyone who does shit like this, I hope to God you never find out what it's like to have early "cringey" art you started at the age of 19 paraded out in public like it's a huge moral failing & the only thing deserving of mention in your life nearly 20 years later. This shit makes me fucking angry.

Boo-hoo. Someone with a bigger platform than you losers can make videos and you can't control the narrative.