Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

And those Arriba Tequila Sombrero Muchacho stereotypes are less worse how?

I guess Mexicans are less black, so it's less racist.
Though maybe a somewhat unfortunate decision giving the eternal roaming hordes crisis at the Mexican border.

EDIT: My next D&D will be Feeblemind Rodriguez (they/them, of course), the dumbest Barbarian in all of Orxico.

Who wants to bet that Paladin from the order of Impracticability isn't just shy of gold coins to grow back his limb, but that he is born this way and proud of it?

You have no idea about the mental gymnastics people go through to justify their disability fetishes in a game where not even death is permanent.

• What if the character was born this way and can't be fixed by magic? [Don't become an adventurer then, or get yourself killed and brought back with Reincarnate. You only need a level 7 Druid for that trick. Sure you will come back as some random race, but it beats having no feeling in your dick and legs]
• What if spells can't fix it in general? [I'm sure the next edition will make this an actual rule. Also I have to remind you that gods are real in D&D. Try the pilgrim route.]
• What if I can't find/afford a Cleric that can fix me? [Just become a pilgrim (again). It's a fantasy setting, so some of those miracles ought to be real. Plus it's not that expensive, even if you go full rules-as-written and assume no Cleric in all of D&D was ever altruistic enough to heal people for free]
• And my personl favorite: What if I don't want to be fixed? [Have fun dungeon crawling, then]

[Le Redditeur]

Beware of priests offering to heal your deficiencies for free. Last time it ended up being a scam to resurrect the Lord of Demons.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

You get what you fucking deserve for wanting sight privilege.

EDIT: What I especially hate about this cripple fetish is that these games just port over IRL cripple tools, and then give make them magic enough that the disability isn't actually an issue anymore. Like the fabled combat wheelchair that can just float over debris and stairs. Or the white cane with sonar powers.
Why not have actual fantasy elements? Like a half mask with gemstone eyes that let you see? Prosthetics that are just part of your plate armor (instead of being obvious prosthetics so the SJWs can marvel at the inclusive art)? Or fuck, plate armor that doubles as an exoskeleton so you can just walk over to the next skeleton instead of having to drive closer to hit him with your axe ('cause it's always dual-wielding axe barbarians in wheelchairs; I guess these wheelchairs can also roll on their own).

I'm basically asking for a fantasy version of the cripple solutions found in Star Trek (sure, Geordie is blind, but he has his fancy visor so it rarely matters).

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

So Gen Con has had some gay awards thingie (The Crit Awards) since last year.
Naturally the staff is full of "theys", and they assure you of being on the "right side of history" by having updated their code of conduct to let you know that Jews Zionists need not apply.

1.5. Individuals who identify as Zionists, promote Zionist material, or engage in activities that without a doubt support Zionism are not eligible for nomination.

Looks like Doikayt will never win an award
And "Without a doubt" probably boils down to "You ordered from a fast food joint that hasn't publicly divested from Israel".

Now aside from the nominees being shit I've never heard about (aside from maybe Salvage Union, which is basically Lancer except even more communist and retarded), it's especially the categories that are a bit weird.
Like they use the term "Multiplayer TTRPG" for normal tabletop RPGs, which they basically had to invent wholesame to differentiate this category from the other TTRPG categories.
Other oddities:

• There's quite a bit of Actual Play shit as categories. "Best Game Master" and "Best Player" even shows up multiple times because these categories are for some reason split by major companies. I guess they wanted to specifically gatekeep this from OSR players
• "Best Player" in an Actual Play stream/podcast is weird in a bit weird in general because 9 times out of 10 those "players" are actors
• There's an award for "Best Fan Art", but you can only be nominated if your art was inspired once again by Actual Play shit. Because reasons.
• There are two awards for songs by a "Musician in the TTRPG Space", whatever that means

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

A situation has developed, and I think it's autistic enough for a separate post.

So the prestigious Crit Awards won't be able to hold its 2nd anniversary awards ceremony IRL at Gen Con due to "safety concerns".
Except it has nothing to with safety and everything with their "No Jews Allowed" clause.
We know this because the token black guy of the awards staff couldn't keep his mouth shut and is now trying to use his clout to try and force Gen Con to bend the knee and forsake its semitic ways.

Archives: (1/4), (2/4), (3/4), (4/4)

Now who is this guy, anyways? Apparently he used to be a musical and theater fag, except now he's just some twitter / twitch IN. I guess he was too lazy and/or difficult to work with for the showbiz - or if you believe him it's because COVID ruined his voice.
He's had some associations with D&D, White Wolf and Critical Role in the past. My guess is that he can at least pretend to be interesting in tabletop RPGs, and the SJW tabletop companies are always in need of a token black guy - especially if he also has "he/they" pronouns.

I might do some more investigative journalism surrounding this drama. Allegedly the "No Jews Allowed" clause came to be because they feared that a Jewish writer might get too many votes

[Kugelfisch]

>they/them
What a full spectrum nigger. Dude hasn't been called out hard enough for years in this nerdy white people safe space.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

>they/them
What a full spectrum nigger. Dude hasn't been called out hard enough for years in this nerdy white people safe space.

I bet he wanted to get ahead of another Token Black Guy who was more likeable, so he declared himself vaguely non-binary.

Also the new D&D art for the Paladin is making the rounds


Here's the original tweet with more comedy gold:

There's also been pictures of a community of lesbian elves in all colors of the rainbow, as well as (probably gay) barista dwarves.
This upcoming edition is gonna be the gayest one ever.

EDIT: LMAO

Pretty sure they've been quietly doubling down on AI art...

[Kugelfisch]

Just have the AI write the rules as well. At least that could make for one fun evening to see how badly that shit would suck and nonfunctional.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

BattleTech is doomed. Not even the fans are sane anymore.

[Old Black Man]

They’re turning the robots gay!