Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread

[Kugelfisch]

None of that shit seems suited for a dice game. Perhaps Sentai to a small degree if one is being generous.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Don't you wanna collect the Elements of Harmony to colonize the zebras?

[wulfenlord]

colonize the zebras

It's Quagga, and they ain't slaves no mo!

And for what it's worth, the officially licensed MLP RPG is written by Alessio Cavatore :3

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

That's the old MLP RPG, using an original system. The new one is part of the Essence20 family.

(I think with enough books you can be a Pony Ranger with a Pony Zord.)

Note how this newer version has not moved on to the stillbirth that is G5. If anything they're doubling down on G4, what with the main characters being front and center on the cover (whereas the older one presented OCs aka your ponies).

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

There's been some juicy new info regarding D&D 5.5 or whatever the fuck it's gonna be called.
Of course there's gonna be a combat wheelchair, as well as other support gear for cripples that probably shouldn't go out adventuring. Sure Pathfinder 2e did that as well as the other high profile game, but here it's gonna be in the core book.
Also the art is a sight to behold:

Official DM Screen (can you spot the issue?)Show

What even is that?Show

I guess most of the art is gonna be AI generated and traces of fat cosplayers? Also how is that blind chick gonna spot anything?

They finally fixed orcsShow

The SJW writers must've been frustrated that nobody believed their "orcs are black people" story, so they made damn sure they're now Mexicans instead.
Also apparently orcs are grey now? I guess green is heavily "black-coded".

[Kugelfisch]

Official DM Screen (can you spot the issue?)Show

The entire thing?

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

I'd say the honorable mention goes to Prosthetic Leg Fighter/Paladin/Whatever because he holds his hammer like an idiot. He looks less like he's going into battle and more like he's posing for a sculptor.

Now the shining star, without a doubt, is Pride Parade Cosplay Antler Headband Wizard/Sorcerer Elf of Color.
Not only does he look ridiculous, but "he" also has tit scars to let you know it's a FTM - which is odd considering an earlier 5e supplement allows elves to change their gender once per day

Also the entire art style clashes with those other images, because having a consistent art direction is for losers.

[Kugelfisch]

Now the shining star, without a doubt, is Pride Parade Cosplay Antler Headband Wizard/Sorcerer Elf of Color.
Not only does he look ridiculous, but "he" also has tit scars to let you know it's a FTM

That's absolutely mental! The glorification of mental illness has gone way too far.
It's not just like performing lobotomies, it's like fetishizing them as well.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

It's not just like performing lobotomies, it's like fetishizing them as well.

It is fetishizing. If we can find that artist's tumblr account I can guarantee you it's full of fanart of characters reimagined as FTM (especially if they're canonically male), all either shirtless or shirtless enough so you can gaze upon their horrible scars.

[wulfenlord]

And those Arriba Tequila Sombrero Muchacho stereotypes are less worse how?

Of course that definitely female coded but mustn't pay attention to her breast so TAPE THEM OFF! Orcette has a butch lesbian sidecut

Will the 300lb cat-burglar get penalties to her Hide in Shadows rolls or would that be ableist?
Though the thought of guards going "Huh. Must've been the wind" instead of immediately spotting the sweating, heaving Rachel because they don't want to be demoted as bigots is funny

Who wants to bet that Paladin from the order of Impracticability isn't just shy of gold coins to grow back his limb, but that he is born this way and proud of it?

All in all 4 out of 4