Capeshit thread (comics and movies)

[ebin namefag]

Imagine caring these days.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

More sperging about a children's cartoon featuring a rich cishet white guy beating up people with mental disabilities.

I kinda dig the slight adjustment they've made to Two-Face's origin. Usually the tale goes that the disfigurement is the root of all of his evil, but in TAS he already had a few screws loose before that. The accident basically just broke his off switch.


Of course, this is still inferior to his best origin story:


Poison Ivy's introduction however was a lot more half-assed. She just poisons one dude and then already has her supervillain identity ready and trademarked when Batman arrived. Was she planning to do a public display with her tentacle monster plants? 'Cause just doing this for Batman is weird, especially since she had no way of knowing he'd come. Must be a fetish of hers.

[Lindsay's Liver]

A typically funny take on "The Marvels" debacle from Takimag's The Week That Perished

S’WONDERFUL, S’MARVEL-LESS
Just how certain were industry experts that the female-led “superheroes of color and diversity” film The Marvels would flop?

For the first time in history, industry sites issued trigger warnings before reporting box office tallies.

Hollywood columnist Luis Fernando sounded the alarm:

Next week’s online chatter about this particular opening weekend might be potentially ugly. I’ll post about The Marvels and it’s [sic] situation at the Box Office. If you think that it will be too overwhelming for you, out of fairness I’d suggest you unfollow me so you don’t get any updates that could make you feel angry or sad. I just wouldn’t want anyone to feel triggered. As a fan myself, I know it won’t be an easy couple of days for many people.

Yes, for woke millennials, The Marvels is their Vietnam. Except instead of an actual war it’s the fact that a movie in which LGBT Pakistani-Muslim-African girlfriends fight CGI wingnuts was about to tank worse than Elisa Lam.

And Fernando’s prediction proved true. The Marvels had the worst opening of any Marvel film, ever—“a new low for the MCU.” The movie cost $300 million and raked in $47 mil. Turns out nobody wanted to sit through two hours of an Oberlin struggle session.

Even costar Zawe Ashton, granddaughter of a former president of Uganda, couldn’t save the film. She spent the entire opening weekend eating the flesh of her enemies and building a shrine with their bones, but to no avail. It’s unlikely anything could’ve saved a movie starring chicks who look like they should be tearing down posters of Israeli hostages.

Could The Marvels finally be the thing that sickens Americans of endless superhero tripe in which billionaire actors cavort in pajamas against green screens? Hopefully, this movie is the Thanos of Marvel and DC films and destroys a universe. Maybe it becomes the medicine that at long last makes Americans vomit at the thought of these films.

And thus would be born a new superheroine.

Forget Catwoman; meet Ipecacwoman.

Notes:
This Luiz Fernando creature really DID tweet that trigger warning about the "Marvels" box office

Actress Zawe Ashton really is the granddaughter of a former Ugandan president.

[TheManWithNoPlan]

Oh Poison Ivy’s gonna be the next character to be diversified. Either a black woman, a tranny or a black tranny.

[TheManWithNoPlan]

Actress Zawe Ashton really is the granddaughter of a former Ugandan president.

Idi Amin?

[Lindsay's Liver]

Actress Zawe Ashton really is the granddaughter of a former Ugandan president.

Idi Amin?

I wish. That'd be funny. The actress, who is half-British/half-Ugandan, is the granddaughter of Paulo Muwanga. So says Wikipedia.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Oh Poison Ivy’s gonna be the next character to be diversified. Either a black woman, a tranny or a black tranny.

They'll give her assburgers and make her look like Greta Thunberg.
Though I'm not sure if her turning full-on anti-semite would make thiss less or more likely to happen

[Dehbashi]

I don't know about that. James Gunn did announce a ginger is going to play Jimmy Olsen, who they have been pushing as black the last few years. So he may stop his universe from changing gingers to niggers.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Yeah but will Lois stay white? He'd have to have made concessions to get GingerJimmy.

[Kugelfisch]

Imagine being sad for a multi billion dollar, near monopoly conglomerate over making a bad movie and it flopping.
I'd say they should get their heads checked but then I know those idiots are all in therapy already and it's proven pointless.