Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread

Talk about the life consuming, celibacy inducing hobby that is all the rage these days.
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Kugelfisch
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Re: Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread

Post by Kugelfisch » Sun Nov 05, 2023 2:36 am

VoiceOfReasonPast wrote:
Sat Nov 04, 2023 12:46 pm
Magic the Cuckening is getting even more woke. A recent update is promising to fix/replace problematic concepts like "totem", "tribal" and "Naga".
>totem
I think the fucking feather niggers should've been entirely ethnically cleansed. No exception. Kill all inbreds and perpetrators as well.
And yet, I find the extremism that the SocJus go about erasing anything even vaguely Indian-related from history absurd.
>tribal
Got a problem with tribes? Oy vey!
>naga
I'm stumped here. Snake people? What's the issue here? That they can't help but think of "nigger"? Is that one of those problems where lefties see apes, monkeys or really any kind of dumb, uncivilised, underdeveloped and violent fantasy tribe and can't help themselves but immediately associate them with blacks?
Kinda funny, because even I have never read that word and thought of niggers. It's just in such a very different context that it didn't even occur to me.
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Re: Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread

Post by Le Redditeur » Sun Nov 05, 2023 5:06 pm

And yet WotC won't fix the blatant problem Magic has: resources and actions being drawn from the same decks which means a significant portion of the times games are decided not by play, but by one of the players being mana screwed/flooded (that happens embarrassingly often in their official events). Better fix whatever the fuck offends Twitter retards instead.

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Re: Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread

Post by VoiceOfReasonPast » Sun Nov 05, 2023 5:19 pm

The important bit is that they keep buying more booster packs with Black Aragorn, not that they actually play the game.
Kugelfisch wrote:
Sun Nov 05, 2023 2:36 am
I'm stumped here. Snake people? What's the issue here?
I think they're paranoid because Nagas are from Hindu mythology, therefore their current depiction is automatically problematic/racist until they either retcon them into generic snakepeople (which seems to be what they're going for here) or hire some 3rd generation woke US Hindu who can't even read Sanskrit to teach them the error of their ways.
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Re: Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread

Post by Kugelfisch » Sun Nov 05, 2023 7:22 pm

In that case they should worry more about Djinns.
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Re: Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread

Post by VoiceOfReasonPast » Fri Nov 10, 2023 12:01 pm

Here's a fun quickie:
Heavens Gate. A Fantasy Tabletop Wargame (Scrapped) (Canceled)
Now if you'd actually bother to read the campaign's description you'd notice it's rather light on actual gameplay. But more likely you'll be distracted by this Kickstarter being both scrapped and canceled. What's up with that?
Update#3 wrote:Due to Finding Out The History Of The Name The Entire Project is being Scrapped
(Source)
You'd think this shouldn't be possible in a world that has both Google and Wikipedia, but here we are :lol:
(Also weird capitalizations)

Now join me next time were I will present a teaser for my upcoming anti-fascist skirmish wargame Mein Kampf (Against Fascism).
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Re: Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread

Post by Le Redditeur » Fri Nov 10, 2023 12:25 pm

I, too, am shocked to find that the project shares a name with an awful Michael Cimino movie.

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Re: Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread

Post by Kugelfisch » Sat Nov 11, 2023 9:35 am

Got me excited for a minute there, thinking there was a game where you neuter your vehicle, wear black Nikes and have a proper cult simulator.
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Re: Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread

Post by wulfenlord » Sat Nov 11, 2023 1:15 pm

The 4 Commanders:
Alastair The Demon Lord

Seraphina The Light-Born

Silvia Elfglen Guardian Of Life

Tybrone Commander Of Wolves
Next-level Tolkien shit here right out of von Lon-writing school. Now I'm curious of the pigmentation-gradient of Tybrone :lol:

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> no Website, dead Twitch and Discord links
> private YT channel[ with the handle Marcus Royall


Hmmmmmmmm.........

Also next time please check if your OC company name is already taken
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Re: Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread

Post by VoiceOfReasonPast » Sat Nov 11, 2023 1:23 pm

All this was missing was some obvious Warhammer ripoff for maximum incompetence.

Now about that antifa skirmish game...
Naturally the main unit stat is Privilege, and your attacks will be more effective the farther apart your Privilege is from the target's (for punching up or down is better than harassing a fellow comrade).
Now obviously the defender gets a bonus when he has the higher Privilege, for the imperialistic pig loves the status quo.
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Re: Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread

Post by VoiceOfReasonPast » Mon Nov 20, 2023 12:10 pm

This Dickstarter is a bit older, but I find the premise "interesting" so fuck it:

The Watch RPG
Image

Don't get too excited about the art. This is just Powered by the Apocalypse, so the vast majority of the game will be about inter-party relationship bullshit.
But more importantly, let's look at the deep, evocative setting presented in this tome:
Before the War we were a semi-nomadic people, living in our respective clans with an ever-shifting network of alliances and enmities. Although one people in spirit, our clans fought over tradition, outlook and custom.

And then The Shadow came...
Image

Sadly the truth is a lot gayer:
The Shadow attacked without warning several months ago, overwhelming the border clans with superior numbers and strength. Then the unthinkable happened. The men, our primary soldiers, began to succumb to The Shadow's power.
It twisted them into someone - something - else.
It's like Lord of the Rings if Sauron had control over toxic masculinity instead of the rings.
For reasons unknown, The Shadow is able to more easily influence the minds of men, and has turned a great deal of the clan's soldiers against itself.
The actual reason is the writers' misandry, of course.
With most of its fighting force crippled or worse, the clans have joined together and begun enlisting new warriors to defend their homes. Women and non-binary femme people who seem better able to resist The Shadow's hold have been recruited, trained, promoted, and formed into a new order: The Watch.
It's like Gretchen Felker-Martin hit novel Manhunt, except this wasn't written by a troon with a rape fetish, so we're missing out on literal rape zombies and TERF nazis.

Naturally you get some lame PbtA playbooks, and your choice of gender is basically like your choice of race in saner fantasy RPGs. These are the only valid choices:
  • Cis Woman (as long as you're not a TERF, I guess)
  • Trans Woman (aka troons)
  • Non-Binary (aka special snowflakes)
  • (Gender)Fluid (aka attention whores that are just a few steps away from inventing headmates)
  • Genderqueer (which is totally different from non-binary, but I don't have enough soy thetans to comprehend the subtle differences)
The lack of cis men is obvious since they all turn into Supreme Gentleman Nazgûl or something if they get to close to the frontlines, but note the absence of trans men. Apparently being a dyke or tomboy on suicide watch can cause you to succumb to toxic masculinity just as easily as real men, but having those real men put on a wig protects them? Odd.

I was also surprised to note that the co-creator of this is Ash Kreider, the creator of a game I've previously sperged about: Our Traveling Home (aka "Legally-distinct Howl's Moving Castle, except it's more trans and queer because the book mentions 'trans' and 'queer' a lot for some reason").
I got a bit curious and decided to peak into her rabbit hole for a bit. I wish I didn't:

She's a woman, except she calls herself "transgender non-binary". Either she got brainwashed because she's an ugly dyke, or she just wanted to be more special without actually having to change her looks (because she's an ugly dyke).
Apparently she is so woke that not even the SJW darling Paizo can satisfy her arbitrary criteria. Before she abandoned her blog she did some strange rants about the art in Pathfinder, including dozens of gender representation charts which basically all boil down to "Pathfinder is sexist bullshit because the art shows cleave and women with bare shoulders" :roll:
Autism attracts more autism. Sooner or later, an internet nobody will attract the exact kind of fans - and detractors - he deserves.
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