Movie Thread

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

I assume it was either Johnny Mnemonic, The Devil's Advocate or The Matrix, depending on whether you obsess about cyberpunk, incest or cyberpunk for babies.

[Guest]

Falling on the "thumbs up" side of Matrix 4. It's too long and the cinematography is cheap, but Keanu and Carrie are really solid, the meta stuff is clever, and it balances the campiness and sincerity pretty damn well.

Most importantly though: short blue-haired tranny is fucking fine and I want to harvest the man-juice from her asshole.

I want /tv/ to leave

[Guest]

I assume it was either Johnny Mnemonic, The Devil's Advocate or The Matrix, depending on whether you obsess about cyberpunk, incest or cyberpunk for babies.

Fuck no. Nobody thought he could act, certainly not from watching those films.

His reinvention is entirely to do with the memes and John Wick

[casual pleb]

I assume it was either Johnny Mnemonic, The Devil's Advocate or The Matrix, depending on whether you obsess about cyberpunk, incest or cyberpunk for babies.

Fuck no. Nobody thought he could act, certainly not from watching those films.

His reinvention is entirely to do with the memes and John Wick

Yeah, I too thought that it's mostly John Wick. Don't remember anyone praising his performance in the Matrix - people were mostly busy adding fart noises to his training sequence.

[Guest]

Yeah, when I was a kid growing up the perception was that he can't fucking act, so this renaissance of Keanu is clearly to do with stuff he's done more recently and not those twenty/thirty year old films like Voice seems to think

[veris leta facies]

So it's Reloaded again?

Nein, nein, nein! Reloaded was a masterpiece compared to this. Sure the plot of Reloaded was borderline laughable and it's full of pseudointellectual rhetorical bullshit, but it still did have its moments. There is nothing to like in the tranny-matrix, I'm still not sure was it some $200 million practical joke or was it a product of pure incompetence. It doesn't even go on the "so bad it's good" level, it's just so bad it's shit. No redeeming qualities whatsoever, everything about it sucks.

Most importantly though: short blue-haired tranny is fucking fine and I want to harvest the man-juice from her asshole.

An actress best known for her amazing role of Suck Snake on GoT. You want a good girl, but you need the baaad pussy.

[rabidtictac]

Reloaded was a shitty video game you couldn't play. I'm sure it's head-and-shoulders above whatever the new mess is supposed to be.

Keanu was kinda ok acting in the first Matrix movie. His lack of personality fit with his character. The Matrix 1 was a film carried by the supporting cast. Or maybe I should say by the real leading man, Morpheus. You want bad acting in the first Matrix film? Bruh, that Trinity bitch was horrible. She was awful in all of the movies including the first one.

Johnny Mnemonic was another Keanu film where I didn't hate him. It's the best kind of low-budget, high-concept shlock.

But I'll always despise Keanu for being cast in Bram Stoker's Dracula. A masterful film nearly rendered unwatchable by an absolute, unmitigated hack shitting all over the scenery whenever he appears. He doesn't have any excuse. Jonathan Harker was never written as a blank slate or plank of wood. He was a humane, caring young man. His portrayal should have been warm, open and earnest. His horror when faced with the Count's castle would be all the more effective that way. The result of Keanu's shit-awful performance is to ruin the prologue of the film.

Francis Ford Coppola has openly criticized his own reasoning for casting Keanu Reeves as Jonathan Harker. According to him, he needed a young, hot star that would connect with the female filmgoers.

[Dehbashi]

That's always the funniest shit about Bram Stoker's Dracula. Even the director was yeah I fucked up casting him. Makes sense since it the one criticism of that movie. Everyone hated the casting of Keanu Reeves in that movie.

[Guest]

A masterful film

No. The film has many other flaws than Keanu

[Guest]

Most importantly though: short blue-haired tranny is fucking fine and I want to harvest the man-juice from her asshole.

No idea how anyone can be turned on by such a bland looking sexless thing... what makes her fucking fine exactly?
She doesnt do anything for me, doesnt even seem its trying to be sexy.

I liked the character (or moreso least hated) but there is no way Id connect "hot" "sexy" "pretty" or anything close to such a bland 5/10 girl not even doing anything erotic/sexual