Spoony the Pussy One: Life is in the Render Queue

[Kugelfisch]

That's like saying the family taking up their boozehound relative

He is their boozehound relative

Fair enough mate but you know what I'm saying.

[Guest]

I know. And I know in my heart that Noah would never do something mildly interesting like living homeless for a while. He'll be back in his childhood bedroom, moping in bed like a teenager.

[wulfenlord]

First of all I feel humbled and honored to be granted entry into the Round-up Olympus, though I could nver hope to achieve Tonys level of self-torture, actually reading and listening to the streams, I am just a chronicler looking at data

Parte deux - last week of February til 1st of June (effectively only 3 months, from March til May)

Red Dead Redemption II - February 26th & March 4th
Description whining: I apologize if I don't say much. I'm at a low-point in my life and there's no end in sight. As if things weren't dire enough, I'm now dealing with a head cold and sore throat. At this point I no longer care what happens. All I can do is pass the time until whatever end may come.
Having endured the prison of ice, now Grima has to sit through the 120 minute snow-level which doubles as a playable intro, the whole time complimented by ass-pats that he is "riffing as always" and "in great form" (he isn't). During the third hour he is dicking aroung in the starting town, but as the game practically plays itself in the beginning this isn't interesting, and rather makes you want to play it yourself than watch some blobbo bumble through it. In the second video Spoony lazily admits that he played off-camera, but not much. He then lazily plays some actual missions. Also we have the last live-footage of Oreo at the 25 minute mark. All in all he raked in some 100 bucks between the 2 videos in 4 hours.

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World of Horror - April 18th - comments disabled
Video description: The world is horrible, and I continue to spiral down into despair and madness.
Yes, Spoony, we can see that. As who would want to watch a let's play of a point&click horror-game? For 2 hours?! (the last 30 streaming minutes are a return to form, at least regarding post-game talking about random shit)
Point(s) of interest: 1 hour and 50 minutes into the Junji Ito manga he is cheered on by some faggot donating 50 argentinian Pesos, which amounts to 50 US Cents. Lul
Though it is sad to see that most of the donations come from Germany this time. Pools closed with close to 85 dollars

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Return of the Oprah Djinn - April 29th - comments disabled on the first video
From one shitty indie-horror detective-novel with pixelated graphics to the next, 5 hours of it. Wooo!
Starting off with throwing away his money is dickwad Jak Sewell, spending 50 bucks to a homeless bum just as the stream starts. At 9 minutes, another retard pisses away 50 dollars. Third nimrod called Chris Fellner riding the 50$ dick-train of Noah at 15 minutes in. We are at 250 american fucking dollars and Spoony has not yet begun to play. Random cockmuncher #4 coming in at around 38 minutes with 50 bucks, bringing us to over 350 so far. Over the course of more than 5 hours, he raked in over 630 bucks (of which ~45 came from the second video). For a shoddy green-tinted Call of Cthulhu-ripoff paint-by-numbers Where's-Waldo-game!

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L.A. Noire - May 10th - comments disabled
Puddles pity party: Having overcome one of the most excruciatingly painful ordeals I've ever experienced, I return as hopeless and despondent as ever. As usual, apologies if I am not particularly talkative.
40 dollars and 20 minutes in he finally starts playing, after yammering how his toothache has been the worst, most excruciating pain any human being ever felt, in the history of ever!
Spoony made out with 250 bucks this time, for 2 1/2 hours of "work". And, as said in the Obra Dinn stream, he doesn't NEED glasses, he just HAS them.

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Hand of Fate II - May 14th - comments disabled
Bawwww: I'm too depressed to be on camera and riffing, at the moment. I'm not very good company when every waking moment of my existence is utter misery.
Ooh, ooh! Another story-driven RPG with lots of options and decision-making. Can you guess what Spoony does? Will he-
a) engage with his audience, explaining what he does in the game and why he thinks doing said actions is the best plan? Maybe let the viewers decide on some actions in the game? Starting a fresh game, not something he began off-camera?
b) the exact opposite of the above
c) Spoony went one step to far S and got eaten by a grue long ago.

Well, as you all have guessed correctly, so has his chat, which doesn't even engage with him (apart from the odd sycophant shining his balls with a "You helped me thru le dark timez" donation), but rather discusses own roleplaying stories. Good on them. Funny thing is, Spoony is actually quite good at this game (possibly from having his ass handed to him in the first one all those years ago). Now if he just learned to entertain or announce his streams, this could've been a succesfaul money haul, here he only received less than 90$, nearly all of it during the first 30 minutes.

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Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem - June 1st - and wouldn't you know? comments are disabled
Crawling in my skin: I hate my life. Each new day disgusts me. The mere thought of facing the rest of my life alone like this makes me physically ill. I have no hope.
We've reached the end guys, his second-to-last stream before he will end it with "Norman Reedus' Walking Simulator" 4 months later. I reckon Noah only got his Gamecube hooked up just for this game, as it's one of his favorite games of all time.
Rushing in fast at the 8th minute with announcing how much of a faggot he is, we have 'BudgetGamerBigSteve' with 50 bucks and the message: "Sorry I haven’t reached out to you on Twitter about the vectrex, life recently got in the way. I’ll try reaching out next weekend if that works for you." Wow, do you still remember Spoonys Vectrex review? It was so lit, man!
My personal fav so far is at 25 minutes some faggot donating 100 of his serbian warmongerer denars (less than 1$).
At 50 minutes we have champion Noah getting to show off his speedrun strats, as he died and didn't save at all, forcing a restart
For real though, this shit behaviour is where you pick a new game or quit, not force your audience to watch the game twice. The last time I've seen suck dickassery was at Wacken 2002, where the avantgarde black metal fags from Dornenreich chose to play Trauerbrandung twice, because they "didn't like the first take".
Granted, the "Arabian episode" had a steep combat learning-curve, but he should have known there are no auto-saves.
At least he is somewhat punished for it, because the donations stay put at 120$ afterwards. Having learned the hard way, Noah has a somewhat recent save after dying again 2 hours in. We then have the pleasure of seeing him die 5 times in 20 minutes :3
The rest of the stream goes by without major setbacks.

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Yo yo yo, just under 22 hours of further streaming activity poor mockery of life in 3 months. Earnings somewhere between 1200-1300 dollars (less than his average from January, but still way more than he deserved - as that number is 0)

SUPER BONUS FEATURE UNLOCKED
Because I feel like it, I'll tell you the amount he got from Stranding in Death: he got 50 dollars just from starting the game gruntingly after 20 minutes. Around 80 minutes in he is done with the glorified tutorial video/intro mission and hovers at 120$. What follows is 40 minutes of post-stream whinging about not getting Kojimas fucked-up mind brilliance.
Other than that, there is a German giving him 15 dorraru at 95 minutes in. How do I know he is from Germany? Easy, he follows the GDQ tradition of announcing it proudly like a faggot/vegan/other victim complex. I hope it wasn't one of you guys. At the same time, we get fullbodyshots of The Greasy One and him rambling about animal torture, his acting career, and fiddling with his hair like he's Pamela Anderson straight out of the shower. One last German faggot at 1:55 brings his earnings over the 200$ mark.

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Superchat total 2020: ~2000$/38hours = just over 50$/h

Now I will rest my weary head.

[Kugelfisch]

First of all I feel humbled and honored to be granted entry into the Round-up Olympus, though I could nver hope to achieve Tonys level of self-torture, actually reading and listening to the streams, I am just a chronicler looking at data

German bias, Wolfi. There may be plenty of us here but most are some kinda queer or Bavarians (redundant, I know). You're a Sperg, but so am I, and we've at least got our racism to bond over.

[Tony Schiavone]

First of all I feel humbled and honored to be granted entry into the Round-up Olympus, though I could nver hope to achieve Tonys level of self-torture, actually reading and listening to the streams, I am just a chronicler looking at data

Data is king, good sir.


We're now down to only two relatively meaningful statistics that measure any possible relevance he has left:
(I'm not counting his Amazon wishlist--as the old link I doesn't seem to return a page anymore)

• His socialblade continues to slowly degrade in viewers (even though he bizarrely gained 1,000 subscribers in July?). Let's be unrealistically generous and suppose he gets $1.50 a view with Youtube analysts coked out of their minds.
  
  That makes his maximum potential yearly 'earnings' roughly close to $2,016 a year gross.

• Now let's see about his Paymeton. The end of next month will be key, as we assume the ones making up the ground on his patron losses are his family, ensuring he still has enough after $300 a month. If they decide to cut the funds since he is now living with them, you'd exact a somewhat sharp drop. As do we
  
  But right now, he'd have made approx. $3,420 a year from that, minus the standard 8% cut.
  We don't have to worry about tax from either source since he's well below the poverty point that the burger gov't just refunds that amount completely back anyway (thanks, standard deduction!).

Is that enough for him to sustain himself? Well....for comparison let's look at his long neglected Steam account.
Even though he hasn't played some games on there in months--if not outright years--he kept updating it right up until his move out date of 07/19.

So totaling his cost, to just hoard entertainment to only look at and spite Cuckson, comes out to $670.56.
That is--13% of his yearly income dedicated to the equivalent of Counter Monkey set dressing.

Without a car, he'd also need to have food delivered to feed himself. Somehow, especially with his booze addiction and extra delivery costs, he'd need to live on $12.30 a day

....which isn't even HALF of the thriftiest amount for a single male his age.

[RedLine]

I'm surprised he worked about 40 hours in 2020. That's an entire week for a normal job! I hope he didn't strain himself too much.

[Complicity]

All boils down to what his relatives plan to do with him.
If they, like Orcril, let him do whatever he wants while keeping him fed and with a roof on his head, he will be back by the end of the month and whine on Twatter until he dies.
If they force him to go to therapy and find a 9 to 5 job, we will never hear about this piece of shit ever again.
Even if he will remain a narc and a manchild, the actor/director/entertainer/writer/dremel owner will be too ashamed to use his account after he has to bleach toilets for a living.

[Guest]

after he has to bleach toilets for a living.

Very optimistic. His family will get him on welfare and there will be no more Spoony anything ever.

[RedLine]

As long as he disappears from the internet I don't care if he's sweeping floors at an Arizona police station or being a being welfare mushroom.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

after he has to bleach toilets for a living.

Oh, I'm sure he'd love that. Some of the finest pizzas can be found near toilets.