Well you guys. This is it. This is Noahs legacy. This is his swansong. This is what he wants to be known for as a parting gift.
Live Wires (what a faggy name for random streaming). 16 of them in 2020. 13 games. 9 with comments still enabled (out of lazyness, drunken stupor, or sheer luck, one may not be able to tell).
Spoilered below are those last throes, as this is likely the last content ever, I thought of having them handy for recreational purposes. And even though Tony might never grace us with a panhandling roundup of this last season, Imma provide at least a tally of his begged value and some cliffnotes.
Part 1: January + the first week of February
X-COM: UFO Defense - January 5th (bretti shure this is stolen or archived footage)
Flavor text
: I'm going through the worst time in my life at the moment, with no end in sight. I have nothing worthwhile to say, so if you don't want to be here, skip the complaints and just leave.
Gehmpleh/sniffling starts rather quick, at around 0:30, if you can call it gameplay, and ends after 74 uninteresting minutes. Earned about 80 dollars from thirsty fags that will shovel even shit like this.
CHINGCHONG I/O - January 6th - comments disabled
Same flavour text as before, game starts immediately, and Noah ends it as abruptly as before, at about 69 minutes (the upload is corrupt and shows 1:11, but stops at 1:09), with the excuse of him not feeling well.
Point(s) of interest:
some faggot around the 50 minute mark with a 15 $ infusion:
Look. I gave Noah money because I appreciate him. He doesn't owe me shit, I don't own him, and I certainly don't feel entitled to his future output.
Begging total: ~30 bucks
Middle-Earth: Shadow of Mordor - January 10th
The first acutally good game in ages, and he starts directly with an off-camera save (it's hard to tell where he is in relation to the story, but I suppose it's at least 5 hours in - but looking at his unlocked skills, it could well be over 10), at around 0:58 he begins questing at random - in a
STORY DRIVEN game he does not
SHOW the story or
COMMENT on the story!
Toe bee fairy he started the game in 2017, but this is rather a dick move. Also, for someone who preached gameplay-immersion and "
actual role-playing" while having his dickstroking contest with
Dick Garriott, in this stream he blindly follows the glowing questmarker. He is not even killing enemies on the way, or, as would fit the character, as in, you know,
role-playing, sneak around them. Rather, he outruns them, until their GTA-cop markers fade away.
2 hours and 45 minutes later, Spoony is 20 dollars richer. Guess people don't like watching a deafmute without any entertainment value or at least explaining your gameplay, huh?
Darkest Dungeon - January 13th
This dense motherfucker again with starting from a save 3 hours into the game, and once again it's not consistent to his last save. Granted, again, his last stream of Darkest dungeon was 3 years ago, on New Year's 2017 (Who does that? And why didn't April pack her bags there and then?). And over the course of more than 2 hours, more than half of the time is reserved for him dawdling over adventure preparation, which,
towbaeferry, is the point of the game, but not in a NO COMMENTARY run!
Loot of this haul: 30 shekels
Middle-Earth: Shadow of War - January 19th & 27th
First time he shows his ugly mug again, yay! And, alas, new flovor text:
I apologize if I don't say much. I'm at a low-point in my life and there's no end in sight. And, as is his fashion, he doesn't start at the beginning, but plunges into the game with his Lvl. 12 save
Key note:
At 36 minutes some faggot called
B.H. Grimes comes swooping in with a 100$ paycheck and saying something along the lines that "
his community cares about him" - overall, he made out with some 225 dollars in the first video, and some 65 in the second, so just under 300 for less than 3 hours of "work"
Dark Souls III - February 6th
Massmurderer__Andy says it best at 0:44: "
Uhhh" - Prepare your anusses for 3 hours of The Loony One not knowing how to play a Souls game. After a rather quick 10 minutes of character creation (lightning-fast for his standards) we're off to boredom. As he is wont to do, he proceeds to die the first half hour to an ice monster. The next 30 minutes he keeps dying to some demon knight, allthewhile getting praise from his sycophants. Because this was way too much action (remember his heart condition), the remaining two hours are spent running around aimlessly, talking to NPCs, and fiddling about in his inventory. His income stopped at somewhere around 95 bucks.
So yeah, some 550 dollarinhos for 5 weeks of low-effort, no-commentary, shit-gameplay spanning around 14 hours? Could he have kept the Orc and the house with it? Fuck no, but why did he stop the effort in the first place? Sadly, as he's a raving narcissist, he will never tell.
Until next episode, where I'll sum up the streams until his penultimate show.
