Retro Games

[Tig Ol Bitties]

Because muh punisher, which is ironic since Frank is basically everything they are against.

and 3. Frank WAS against everything they stood for but after having fucked over his own legacy in the 2000's and having lost all his closest friends over having made Holy War because "muh alt-right nazi hate mudshits"
so he sucked up to every other sjw in the industry with the Latest dark knight going full Trump Derangement Syndrome:

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And of course glorious Gretta Thumberg:

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I'm so glad that dying nigger got cancelled. Fuck you, Frank. Making Greta into a superhero? Suck my cock with your shitty homo art.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Just curious if there are any really big deal shmup games out there that I missed. Most of the indie stuff I assume is total shit. Steam is just chock-full (along with the eshop) of obvious shovelware shmups.

Haven't played nearly as much Touhou as you think.

Crimzon Clover is friggin' rad, mate, though my mind keeps confusing it with Blue Wish Resurrection (mostly because the first level or so is pretty similar in both).

There's also DoDonPachi Resurrection, which is basically Crimzon Clover except the bosses turn into giant robot waifus for some reason.

Then there's one with kamikaze waifus (not kidding; you start with a certain amount of them and can have them pull a kamikaze for massive damage).


But of course, the real hidden gems come from Orange Juice:



Are you only interested in top-down shmups, or should I also recommend some sidescrolling ones?

minor Cave spergShow

I like Cave and all, but there's something triggering about the ports.
So first each port has like every iteration of the game that ever existed (usually about 4), but the game itself never tells you what the difference actually is.
Then there's the way the story is told. The games themselves have no intro or anything, but then towards the end the it suddenly starts having plots and shit, usually about stuff you don't understand 'cause the game itself never establishes anything.

[rabidtictac]

Cave has never done a good job with story imo.

As horribly and hilariously as the translated english version of its story was told, I think Castle Shikigami did a pretty good job integrating a story without having it feel overwhelming. You'd get a few skippable conversations between characters and you could disable them in the menu if you didn't want to see them on repeat playthroughs.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

I mostly noticed the quality storytelling while playing DoDonPachi (fucking time travel out of nowhere) and Deathsmiles (where you initially think it's just some gothic horror shmup with flying waifus until they casually mention that all the main characters are from the real world).

Is it really too much to ask for a short "All your base are belong to us" opening cutscene? Don't just relegate the first half of your story to the manual (which the Steam version doesn't have) and leave the grand finale in-game.

[rabidtictac]

https://youtu.be/JDICaBPlcHc?t=348

This game has some of the most amazing Engrish I've seen in my life.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

I also got some keks out of Zoids Legacy for the GBA. It technically as a "proper" translation, but its so inept it's hard to describe. Everything's just phrased oddly, and probably not all that accurate. It's almost like playing with a machine translation.

[Tig Ol Bitties]

No Dreamcast should ever be left behind.

Not to flex but I got my Dreamcast in April 2001 (paid cash like a damn baller) and it's still going strong. Best system ever.

[Kugelfisch]

Except it needs matches to not overheat, because it's a piece of shit, like all 3D era consoles.

[mad bum]

I bought mine for $25 years ago when it was fucking retail. How times have changed.

[Kugelfisch]

I bought mine 16 years ago for 50 with two lightguns and two dozen games.