Spoony the Pussy One: Life is in the Render Queue

[Guest]

I've theorized he might be in the middle of fucking off back to Arizona, but I'm sure he'd find time to do a lot of sadposting and rage about how moving is shit and he has the lung capacity of a two year old with astma.

[Guest]

Anime will never let her down. Her 2d spoony husbando is always there for her.

Christ's sake, she's 40 years old.

[Guest]

World's biggest victim would kill himself without making a public spectacle of it to milk sympathy from others.

People who are serious don't usually make a big spectacle. They don't tell anyone because they don't want to be stopped.

[Newhalf]

He will return, and the dark tymes will end.

Okay the last part is a lie, but why's he being declared dead already?

[Guest]

Happens everytime he's 'gone' for a few weeks.

[Guest]

His twig-like hands are not strong enough to tie a proper noose, also that would involve doing something, which is a big no no.

Noose part doesn't require a lot of strenght, because you want it to be somewhat loose, so it can close around your neck when you jump off something.
Rather than strenght, I would say that's too much work and effort for him, to go find towline in his wreck, some chair and where to tie knot so he won't drop flat on his ass. Way too much work for him and I don't get how you could even come up with this kind of herculean task.
You can hang yourself with belt and that's more like him - just take belt, go for bed or doors and done. You can be even drinking while dying, which would be dream come true for him.

[Le Redditeur]

How hot are Illinois and Arizona right now? I doubt professional lazy bum Sploony is lifting a single finger to move himself out of the house. His parents will need to hire a moving company to do his bidding for him.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

If he can be arsed to open the door for them.

[Guest]

How hot are Illinois and Arizona right now?

Arizona
Illinois

[Guest]

As far as I heard in the summer Arizona is one of them places you tend to stay inside after like 10/11 in the morning on account of shit just being 'too damn hot' afterwards.