Spoony the Pussy One: Life is in the Render Queue

[pibbs]

[veris leta facies]

Good ideas from everyone for the Spoony movie. Here's some of my additions:

Samuel L. Jackson should act the Oreo role in a full body dog costume, like The Cowardly Lion from The Wizard of Oz.



The film should be directed by Sam Peckinpah. It doesn't matter he's dead, let the computer analyze all the films he has directed and let it simulate the best possible guess as to how he would have directed the film. No need to pay any royalties to Peckinpah's heir. I'm looking for the same kind of dramatic transitioning to opening credits in the film's opening scene as in The Wild Bunch -> "If they move, KILL EM!" -> DIRECTED BY SAM PECKINPAH.

There should be a spaghetti western style flashback scene where Spoony is remembering the mashable awards victory and times of $5000/month from patreon while the pocket watch theme from For a Few Dollars More is playing.

In the dramatic ending scene, after Spoony has committed seppuku, Cuckson is looking at the signed picture of Spoony he bought for $50, crying and holding a gun in his hand while You Keep Me Hangin' On by Vanilla Fudge is playing. The camera zooms closer and closer to the picture..

You really don't want me
You just keep me hangin' on
You really don't need me
You just keep me hangin' on
Get out'my life, why don't you babe
Get out'my life, why don't you babe
Get out'my life, why *BLAM!* [blood squirts on the picture]

Ending credits / Break Me - The Irresponsibles

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

You've got the ending all wrong. It will end with Cuckson and the other true fans violating Spoony's corpse, culminating with them eating their beloved internet idol, in an hommage to Patrick Süsskind's Perfume: The Story of a Murderer.
Now Boss will live inside of them.
Forever.

The final shot of the movie will have them blissfully wander off into the sunset, as a slowed-down version of the famous The Spoony Experiment theme song is playing.

Oh noes. Now he needs even more booze to sleep through his next dentist appointment.

[BloodKnightDollfie]

When he's back in Arizona, he can drive to Mexico and get his teeth pulled cheap.

[Guest]

What is the point of this? He doesnt want help, advice, or sympathy. So why post it?

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

He doesn't want help, advice or sympathy. That is the point. He doesn't want it so hard that he can't help but tell people how much he doesn't want it. Because telling people to screw themselves is the only power abuse he's capable of these days.

Also
>an untreated periodontal abscess can lead to a odontogenic infection
>untreaded odontogenic infection has a mortality rate of up to 40%

Maybe all those years of "healing" will finally bring him salvation. And here I thought only Chris-chan would be retarded enough to an hero via an infection.

[GitGud]

I would love to see Klaus Kinski in the role of Spoony. It is a shame that he died 1991....

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Not a good fit if you ask me. Klaus' rage and anger are legendary. He's way too high energy for the role.

[Guest]

I would love to see Spoony act as a corpse in the morgue. It would bring a tear to my eye to finally see boss's method acting career take off.

[GitGud]

You mean Meth acting?

But for real, someone should hide drugs on his property and then call the cops so master has a nice warm place to stay. Maybe use his backyard to plant weed or poppie