Based country, this is like 1920's moonman.
Spoony the Pussy One: Life is in the Render Queue
- mad bum
- Supreme Shitposter
- Posts: 18015
- Joined: Sat Mar 25, 2017 11:15 pm
- Location: In spoony's rape dungeon
- Contact:
- Ovafaze
- Posts: 46
- Joined: Wed Dec 18, 2019 12:55 am
- Contact:
Re: Spoony the Pussy One: Life is in the Render Queue
Who will Samuel L. Jackson play?Kugelfisch wrote: ↑Mon Apr 20, 2020 10:14 pmfirst draft scriptShowEXT. RAN DOWN APARTMENT - NIGHT
A FAT LOSER, male, 31, wearing a t-shirt with a dated pop culture reference that is visibly old stands in front of his apartment door. He's holding a paper bag with groceries in one hand, fishing for his keys in his pocket with the other. He pauses for a moment, realising HIS DOOR is already slightly opened.
FAT LOSER
What the fuck?
He carefully fully opens his door, standing in his DOORWAY he takes a peek into his dark apartment. In his gaming chair he can just about make out the shadowy SILHOUETTE OF A PERSON.
FAT LOSER
Uh...h-hello?
SILHOUETTE OF A PERSON
(quiet but impatient)
About time you showed up, BRONIE89.
BRONIE89
Wha- who are you? What is this?
BRONIE89 shifts the bag of groceries to his right arm, fishing with the left for the light switch.
SILHOUETTE OF A PERSON
(getting agitated)
Who I am? You're asking me who I am?
BRONIE89 turns on the light.
INT. RAN DOWN APARTMENT
A small, one-room apartment, littered with empty bags of chips, empty bottles of MOUNTAIN DEW (product placement). Sitting in a computer chair we see SPOONY, a mid 35 year old man with long, black, greasy hair, wearing a heavily stained t-shirt and pair of shorts. He is pale and looks deranged.
SPOONY
(loud, angry)
YOU are fucking asking me who I am? Who the fuck are you?!
BRONIE89
(visibly confused)
Spoony?
SPOONY
That's what they used to call me.
BRONIE89
(confused and nervous)
What are you doing here?
SPOONY
(snarky)
What are you fucking Phelan now?
BRONIE89
(laughing but still unnerved)
Ha ha, good one, Spoony! But you disappeared a year ago. I used to follow you on twitter and used to watch your videos all the time. They helped me through some-
SPOONY
(angrily cutting off BRONIE89)
YEAH YEAH, I know, dark times! I've had some dark times of my own, you know?
BRONIE89
I know, losing your house and-
SPOONY
(defeated)
Everything. I lost everything. That's why I came here.
BRONIE89
(very confused)
So, uh, you looking for a place to stay?
SPOONY
(calm)
No. I just wanted to remind you of something. Do you remember what you told me before I left twitter?
BRONIE89
Uh, no.
SPOONY
You said I should just start making videos again. But you also said something else before that.
A reflection in SPOONY's hand catches BRONIE89's attention. We see that SPOONY is holding a chrome-finished revolver.
BRONIE89 gets nervous again, quickly looks away from the revolver and tries to distract SPOONY.
BRONIE89
Oh, uh, uuhhhh, w-what would that be, SPOONY?
SPOONY
(gleefully)
What are you looking at? This?
SPOONY presents the revolver.
SPOONY
(sinister)
This is a little present from my brother Miles. Don't you worry about that now.
Well, let me refresh your memory. You said to me to take all the time I need. ALL. The time. I need.
BRONIE89
(close to panic)
Uh yeah. Sure. Take all the time you need! I know yo-
SPOONY
(shouting angrily)
Then why the fuck would you tell me to make videos again?
BRONIE89
I- I didn't mean it that way, SPOONY, honest! I was just trying to help you.
SPOONY
(calm again)
Yeah, that's what Shooter_Andy said as well.
SPOONY stands up from the chair and points the revolver at BRONIE89.
SPOONY
And then he got shot. Ironic, isn't it?
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. RURAL Cucknadian TOWN - DAY
- Moe Bitches
- Supreme Shitposter
- Posts: 5688
- Joined: Tue Jul 09, 2019 4:54 am
- Location: Hell on Earth
- Contact:
Re: Spoony the Pussy One: Life is in the Render Queue
Oreo of course.Ovafaze wrote: ↑Mon Apr 20, 2020 10:42 pmWho will Samuel L. Jackson play?Kugelfisch wrote: ↑Mon Apr 20, 2020 10:14 pmfirst draft scriptShowEXT. RAN DOWN APARTMENT - NIGHT
A FAT LOSER, male, 31, wearing a t-shirt with a dated pop culture reference that is visibly old stands in front of his apartment door. He's holding a paper bag with groceries in one hand, fishing for his keys in his pocket with the other. He pauses for a moment, realising HIS DOOR is already slightly opened.
FAT LOSER
What the fuck?
He carefully fully opens his door, standing in his DOORWAY he takes a peek into his dark apartment. In his gaming chair he can just about make out the shadowy SILHOUETTE OF A PERSON.
FAT LOSER
Uh...h-hello?
SILHOUETTE OF A PERSON
(quiet but impatient)
About time you showed up, BRONIE89.
BRONIE89
Wha- who are you? What is this?
BRONIE89 shifts the bag of groceries to his right arm, fishing with the left for the light switch.
SILHOUETTE OF A PERSON
(getting agitated)
Who I am? You're asking me who I am?
BRONIE89 turns on the light.
INT. RAN DOWN APARTMENT
A small, one-room apartment, littered with empty bags of chips, empty bottles of MOUNTAIN DEW (product placement). Sitting in a computer chair we see SPOONY, a mid 35 year old man with long, black, greasy hair, wearing a heavily stained t-shirt and pair of shorts. He is pale and looks deranged.
SPOONY
(loud, angry)
YOU are fucking asking me who I am? Who the fuck are you?!
BRONIE89
(visibly confused)
Spoony?
SPOONY
That's what they used to call me.
BRONIE89
(confused and nervous)
What are you doing here?
SPOONY
(snarky)
What are you fucking Phelan now?
BRONIE89
(laughing but still unnerved)
Ha ha, good one, Spoony! But you disappeared a year ago. I used to follow you on twitter and used to watch your videos all the time. They helped me through some-
SPOONY
(angrily cutting off BRONIE89)
YEAH YEAH, I know, dark times! I've had some dark times of my own, you know?
BRONIE89
I know, losing your house and-
SPOONY
(defeated)
Everything. I lost everything. That's why I came here.
BRONIE89
(very confused)
So, uh, you looking for a place to stay?
SPOONY
(calm)
No. I just wanted to remind you of something. Do you remember what you told me before I left twitter?
BRONIE89
Uh, no.
SPOONY
You said I should just start making videos again. But you also said something else before that.
A reflection in SPOONY's hand catches BRONIE89's attention. We see that SPOONY is holding a chrome-finished revolver.
BRONIE89 gets nervous again, quickly looks away from the revolver and tries to distract SPOONY.
BRONIE89
Oh, uh, uuhhhh, w-what would that be, SPOONY?
SPOONY
(gleefully)
What are you looking at? This?
SPOONY presents the revolver.
SPOONY
(sinister)
This is a little present from my brother Miles. Don't you worry about that now.
Well, let me refresh your memory. You said to me to take all the time I need. ALL. The time. I need.
BRONIE89
(close to panic)
Uh yeah. Sure. Take all the time you need! I know yo-
SPOONY
(shouting angrily)
Then why the fuck would you tell me to make videos again?
BRONIE89
I- I didn't mean it that way, SPOONY, honest! I was just trying to help you.
SPOONY
(calm again)
Yeah, that's what Shooter_Andy said as well.
SPOONY stands up from the chair and points the revolver at BRONIE89.
SPOONY
And then he got shot. Ironic, isn't it?
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. RURAL Cucknadian TOWN - DAY
da PAC Nigguh wrote: ↑Wed Nov 25, 2020 12:06 amShit like this is why satire is dead in currentyear.
- Kugelfisch
- Gesichert Rechtsradikal
- Posts: 51194
- Joined: Sat Mar 25, 2017 1:36 pm
- Contact:
Re: Spoony the Pussy One: Life is in the Render Queue
Casting in general is a good question. Immediate thought for Spoony, to me, is Keanu Reeves. He can play fucked up people and action shooty man. Wooden actor, you say? I don't see a problem.
But who I really want is Kevin Spacey. Set that shit in the future many years. After over 30 years since Spoony vanished and has been thought dead for good he is back, to murder every single one of his crazy fans. Prime opportunity to cast some 50+ year old, rancid men in ill-fitting wigs as his tranny audience. Maybe one breaks down in tears over how life was even worse after he had his dick cut off, just before Spoon kills him in pure disgust.
Man, I don't know. You could do so much with the premise. Make a Greasy Strangler shock shlock movie, make a straight-faced revenge movie, make something cartoonishly Hollywood polished up to be revoltingly inoffensive with Ryan Reynolds as Spoon, so mangled that it doesn't even remotely resemble his actual story just to piss him off.
I'd have a thousand ideas.
SpoilerShow

- Complicity
- Supreme Shitposter
- Posts: 4716
- Joined: Thu Aug 29, 2019 11:14 am
- Location: Guinea
- Contact:
Re: Spoony the Pussy One: Life is in the Render Queue
It would be an atonement story about fixing his own mistakes.Kugelfisch wrote: ↑Tue Apr 21, 2020 12:18 amBut who I really want is Kevin Spacey. Set that shit in the future many years. After over 30 years since Spoony vanished and has been thought dead for good he is back, to murder every single one of his crazy fans. Prime opportunity to cast some 50+ year old, rancid men in ill-fitting wigs as his tranny audience. Maybe one breaks down in tears over how life was even worse after he had his dick cut off, just before Spoon kills him in pure disgust.
Re: Spoony the Pussy One: Life is in the Render Queue
What the mother fuck?! Who posts that?Guest wrote: ↑Sun Apr 19, 2020 4:42 pmThe absolute state of the average current year spoony fanNSFL WARNINGShow
Also, did we just find that tranny soldier guy from Noah's LGS that had pulled the other guy from the hair?
- Ovafaze
- Posts: 46
- Joined: Wed Dec 18, 2019 12:55 am
- Contact:
Re: Spoony the Pussy One: Life is in the Render Queue
"Bark Bark muthafucker, I gotta take a shit, let me out."Moe Bitches wrote: ↑Mon Apr 20, 2020 10:46 pmOreo of course.Ovafaze wrote: ↑Mon Apr 20, 2020 10:42 pmWho will Samuel L. Jackson play?Kugelfisch wrote: ↑Mon Apr 20, 2020 10:14 pmfirst draft scriptShowEXT. RAN DOWN APARTMENT - NIGHT
A FAT LOSER, male, 31, wearing a t-shirt with a dated pop culture reference that is visibly old stands in front of his apartment door. He's holding a paper bag with groceries in one hand, fishing for his keys in his pocket with the other. He pauses for a moment, realising HIS DOOR is already slightly opened.
FAT LOSER
What the fuck?
He carefully fully opens his door, standing in his DOORWAY he takes a peek into his dark apartment. In his gaming chair he can just about make out the shadowy SILHOUETTE OF A PERSON.
FAT LOSER
Uh...h-hello?
SILHOUETTE OF A PERSON
(quiet but impatient)
About time you showed up, BRONIE89.
BRONIE89
Wha- who are you? What is this?
BRONIE89 shifts the bag of groceries to his right arm, fishing with the left for the light switch.
SILHOUETTE OF A PERSON
(getting agitated)
Who I am? You're asking me who I am?
BRONIE89 turns on the light.
INT. RAN DOWN APARTMENT
A small, one-room apartment, littered with empty bags of chips, empty bottles of MOUNTAIN DEW (product placement). Sitting in a computer chair we see SPOONY, a mid 35 year old man with long, black, greasy hair, wearing a heavily stained t-shirt and pair of shorts. He is pale and looks deranged.
SPOONY
(loud, angry)
YOU are fucking asking me who I am? Who the fuck are you?!
BRONIE89
(visibly confused)
Spoony?
SPOONY
That's what they used to call me.
BRONIE89
(confused and nervous)
What are you doing here?
SPOONY
(snarky)
What are you fucking Phelan now?
BRONIE89
(laughing but still unnerved)
Ha ha, good one, Spoony! But you disappeared a year ago. I used to follow you on twitter and used to watch your videos all the time. They helped me through some-
SPOONY
(angrily cutting off BRONIE89)
YEAH YEAH, I know, dark times! I've had some dark times of my own, you know?
BRONIE89
I know, losing your house and-
SPOONY
(defeated)
Everything. I lost everything. That's why I came here.
BRONIE89
(very confused)
So, uh, you looking for a place to stay?
SPOONY
(calm)
No. I just wanted to remind you of something. Do you remember what you told me before I left twitter?
BRONIE89
Uh, no.
SPOONY
You said I should just start making videos again. But you also said something else before that.
A reflection in SPOONY's hand catches BRONIE89's attention. We see that SPOONY is holding a chrome-finished revolver.
BRONIE89 gets nervous again, quickly looks away from the revolver and tries to distract SPOONY.
BRONIE89
Oh, uh, uuhhhh, w-what would that be, SPOONY?
SPOONY
(gleefully)
What are you looking at? This?
SPOONY presents the revolver.
SPOONY
(sinister)
This is a little present from my brother Miles. Don't you worry about that now.
Well, let me refresh your memory. You said to me to take all the time I need. ALL. The time. I need.
BRONIE89
(close to panic)
Uh yeah. Sure. Take all the time you need! I know yo-
SPOONY
(shouting angrily)
Then why the fuck would you tell me to make videos again?
BRONIE89
I- I didn't mean it that way, SPOONY, honest! I was just trying to help you.
SPOONY
(calm again)
Yeah, that's what Shooter_Andy said as well.
SPOONY stands up from the chair and points the revolver at BRONIE89.
SPOONY
And then he got shot. Ironic, isn't it?
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. RURAL Cucknadian TOWN - DAY
Re: Spoony the Pussy One: Life is in the Render Queue
He eats fast food, ramen, and booze. Those don't fall from the sky. He's going down to convenience stores to buy all that.Singh'sSpot wrote: ↑Mon Apr 20, 2020 6:11 pmHe can't have it since he doesn't go out and doesn't interact with anyone, that would be some cringy shit right there of he claimed to have it.
- Kugelfisch
- Gesichert Rechtsradikal
- Posts: 51194
- Joined: Sat Mar 25, 2017 1:36 pm
- Contact:
Re: Spoony the Pussy One: Life is in the Render Queue
The true tragedy of life. If McRibs, and ramen would fall from the sky I could remain sheltered forever.Guest wrote: ↑Tue Apr 21, 2020 7:04 amHe eats fast food, ramen, and booze. Those don't fall from the sky.
SpoilerShow

Re: Spoony the Pussy One: Life is in the Render Queue
Well, what are you going to do with a main character that does not do anything?
I'd go with a cyberpunk/dystopian near future setting.
The opening credits play over a montage of some of his older skits, showing his growing apathy and physical decline. Real footage with real Spoony. Then the foreclosure, cut up some of his old skits like he shoots some people trying to evict him, he gets dragged away and committed to an institution (I think there even is some straight jacket footage). We see the building from the outside as we fade away.
We jump 20 years into the future. The passage of time if visible on the exterior shot of the building. The lighting and flashing images show that everything was great, then protests, then war and decline. The area looks like Detroit now, the formerly classy institute is a gloomy shadow of its former self.
Inside, two orderlies are speaking in hushed tones. "Really? Are your sure?" ""It's right here in the file! They want to put him down. The Death Panel signed off on it." "Oh damn. What a shame. He helped me through some difficult times." "I know. My dad always told me how much he meant to her after her operation."
They reached a heavy door in a dark hallway, the name N. Antwiler on a little sign. The orderlies finally fill us in on what happened.
"My supervisor when I first started here told me that he had an episode in 2020. You know, the Virus, the Economy, the Orange One" he spits out. "It was a bad year for many people. But he was brought here, a psychiatrist figured out what was wrong with him, gave him the right medication, he apparently was a model patient and everyone liked him. After the Secession, all the pharmaceutical companies stayed in the New Confederation and they could not afford to import his drugs. So he slipped back and all they could do was keep him here and let him post on fake Twitter." The other orderly sadly looks through the peep hole, it is dark inside. "And now the Death Panel has decided we can no longer afford to keep him alive, so they'll just put him down tomorrow. I can't let them do it."
They enter the padded cell and on a couch sits a figure, slumped forward, long hair covering his face. They switch on the light, push him gently back and reveal Matthew McConaughey, haggard, in full "True Detective/Rust 2012" mode.


They help him through the barely lit corridors, telling him how much he means to them, while he slowly wakes up from his daze, hearing their distorted voices calling him "Boss" and talking about the tough times he helped them through and how they can finally pay him back.
They reach a back door leading to a big garden, behind which a dystopian city looms. He stands, motionless, just outside the light coming from inside the dimly lit door frame. One orderly stands in the door. The other makes sure Spoony can stand on his own, then wants to retreat into the corridor. He tells the guy standing in the doorway "Your in my way, Sir" he grins at his buddy. "Remember that?" His buddies grin turns into a look of horror as Spoony suddenly snaps the orderlies neck and then jumps at the second one, dragging him into the hallway and we only hear his muffled screams, as the camera fades into the dark garden.

---
From here, you have a slasher movie that can go anywhere. I imagine the country being torn between "Real America", the New Confederacy, peaceful, mostly rural, with some big, but orderly cities. Well lit.
The other setting are the "Old Republic", where we started, hailed as socialist utopia, but poverty, grime and crime everywhere and basically the big cities are independently run by their own corrupt politicians. Degeneration everywhere, rainbow flags, trans people, furries, animu pillows.
Maybe he stumbles on a coven of people, for whom he was a bit of a childhood icon, a meme of a better time. Everytime someone recognizes him and praises him and wants to help him, he just starts murdering people.
In a freshly murderized warehouse he finds a decrepit old terminal, somehow gets the interwebs to work and comes across a campaign ad for Miles, who is running for re-election as Governor of Arizona, based on his record as Sheriff (reducing illegal immigration to 0) while cuddling a litter of puppies that all look like Oreo. Miles could be played by House of Cards Joel Kinnamon (or someone similarly polished).
Now he can either go on a rampage in this shithole or you can have a killer roadtrip movie as he brings death and carnage on his path to Arizona. Depending on budget, end the first movie with the campaign ad and make the second movie the road to Phoenix.
I'd go with a cyberpunk/dystopian near future setting.
The opening credits play over a montage of some of his older skits, showing his growing apathy and physical decline. Real footage with real Spoony. Then the foreclosure, cut up some of his old skits like he shoots some people trying to evict him, he gets dragged away and committed to an institution (I think there even is some straight jacket footage). We see the building from the outside as we fade away.
We jump 20 years into the future. The passage of time if visible on the exterior shot of the building. The lighting and flashing images show that everything was great, then protests, then war and decline. The area looks like Detroit now, the formerly classy institute is a gloomy shadow of its former self.
Inside, two orderlies are speaking in hushed tones. "Really? Are your sure?" ""It's right here in the file! They want to put him down. The Death Panel signed off on it." "Oh damn. What a shame. He helped me through some difficult times." "I know. My dad always told me how much he meant to her after her operation."
They reached a heavy door in a dark hallway, the name N. Antwiler on a little sign. The orderlies finally fill us in on what happened.
"My supervisor when I first started here told me that he had an episode in 2020. You know, the Virus, the Economy, the Orange One" he spits out. "It was a bad year for many people. But he was brought here, a psychiatrist figured out what was wrong with him, gave him the right medication, he apparently was a model patient and everyone liked him. After the Secession, all the pharmaceutical companies stayed in the New Confederation and they could not afford to import his drugs. So he slipped back and all they could do was keep him here and let him post on fake Twitter." The other orderly sadly looks through the peep hole, it is dark inside. "And now the Death Panel has decided we can no longer afford to keep him alive, so they'll just put him down tomorrow. I can't let them do it."
They enter the padded cell and on a couch sits a figure, slumped forward, long hair covering his face. They switch on the light, push him gently back and reveal Matthew McConaughey, haggard, in full "True Detective/Rust 2012" mode.


They help him through the barely lit corridors, telling him how much he means to them, while he slowly wakes up from his daze, hearing their distorted voices calling him "Boss" and talking about the tough times he helped them through and how they can finally pay him back.
They reach a back door leading to a big garden, behind which a dystopian city looms. He stands, motionless, just outside the light coming from inside the dimly lit door frame. One orderly stands in the door. The other makes sure Spoony can stand on his own, then wants to retreat into the corridor. He tells the guy standing in the doorway "Your in my way, Sir" he grins at his buddy. "Remember that?" His buddies grin turns into a look of horror as Spoony suddenly snaps the orderlies neck and then jumps at the second one, dragging him into the hallway and we only hear his muffled screams, as the camera fades into the dark garden.

---
From here, you have a slasher movie that can go anywhere. I imagine the country being torn between "Real America", the New Confederacy, peaceful, mostly rural, with some big, but orderly cities. Well lit.
The other setting are the "Old Republic", where we started, hailed as socialist utopia, but poverty, grime and crime everywhere and basically the big cities are independently run by their own corrupt politicians. Degeneration everywhere, rainbow flags, trans people, furries, animu pillows.
Maybe he stumbles on a coven of people, for whom he was a bit of a childhood icon, a meme of a better time. Everytime someone recognizes him and praises him and wants to help him, he just starts murdering people.
In a freshly murderized warehouse he finds a decrepit old terminal, somehow gets the interwebs to work and comes across a campaign ad for Miles, who is running for re-election as Governor of Arizona, based on his record as Sheriff (reducing illegal immigration to 0) while cuddling a litter of puppies that all look like Oreo. Miles could be played by House of Cards Joel Kinnamon (or someone similarly polished).

Now he can either go on a rampage in this shithole or you can have a killer roadtrip movie as he brings death and carnage on his path to Arizona. Depending on budget, end the first movie with the campaign ad and make the second movie the road to Phoenix.
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 252 guests