Capeshit thread (comics and movies)

[veris leta facies]

What a shocker Mahvel didn't kill off several of their profitable cash-cow franchises after all. The great twist of modern cinema.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

And I thought some of these characters died in the previous movie, but whatever...

Even though people actually die and stay dead far more often in capeshit movies than actual capeshit comics, you can bet you're ass that the only ones dying are one-off villains and/or actors tired with their roles.

[Tony Schiavone]

There is no power in the universe, greater than girl power.

[sigh]

All in all it's a great way to reforge the MCU to something more resembling whatever the fuck is in the comics nowadays.
Kill off or turn into a joke all of the hwhite dudes and give the spotlight to the women more. The next one needs to give us a raging homosexual and not just an implied one to secure all the points, or a tranny. I think only Hawkeye and Doctor strange left the movie alive and with dignity. Iron man get's the big hero death, Captain America gets to live a normal life and appoints Falcon as the new Captain America. Thor leaves and appoints Valkyrie to take his place. The fuck they even did with the Hulk in this: I guess they were making him more and more into a joke with the ED jokes in the last one, but this one was just dumb. Starlord gets a kick in the nuts, because... because it's funny and empowering. All the bullshit at the beginning of the movie about losing their loved ones and shit, but when he gets to see his loved one he gets this? Who wrote this garbage (I know it's technically not the same Gamora, but come on, why was this scene even necessary). He even got an approval from her daddy in the last one.
Scene were all the female heroes team up to protec spider-man is hilarious. Can captain marvel be more overpowered? Why are even other people endangering their lives if she can take out a giant space ship in mere seconds?
The future of this movies is so bright, did they even plan more after these?

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Of course did they plan for more. As long as the cinem bux keep pouring in, they'll come up with something.

[Guest]

Scene were all the female heroes team up to protec spider-man is hilarious. Can captain marvel be more overpowered? Why are even other people endangering their lives if she can take out a giant space ship in mere seconds?
The future of this movies is so bright, did they even plan more after these?

People complain about the movie ruining Thor but overlook the complete emasculation of Spider-Man. He's filmed from above to maximize his smallness, and with that big glove looks like a scared little boy. Then Marvel descends from the heavens to protect him, filmed from below to make her look bigger while she glows in a fucking moonbeam, and the smug fucking way she speaks to him is like a deity speaking to a puny worshiper or something. Then he pussies out because there are too many enemies, so a fucking BALD BLACK WOMAN WITH NO POWERS literally appears to do his fighting for him.

Spider-Man = cuck.

[Kugelfisch]

Well, Spoderman is just your average white boy, the super hero most like the comic-reading audience back when comics were fun. He was also made by a, finally dead, pedophile or rapist or whatever I'm sure he's many and all those things. Spider-Man really should've died but they figured totally emasculating him would be the harsher punishment.

[Guest]

Scene were all the female heroes team up to protec spider-man is hilarious. Can captain marvel be more overpowered? Why are even other people endangering their lives if she can take out a giant space ship in mere seconds?
The future of this movies is so bright, did they even plan more after these?

People complain about the movie ruining Thor but overlook the complete emasculation of Spider-Man. He's filmed from above to maximize his smallness, and with that big glove looks like a scared little boy. Then Marvel descends from the heavens to protect him, filmed from below to make her look bigger while she glows in a fucking moonbeam, and the smug fucking way she speaks to him is like a deity speaking to a puny worshiper or something. Then he pussies out because there are too many enemies, so a fucking BALD BLACK WOMAN WITH NO POWERS literally appears to do his fighting for him.

Spider-Man = cuck.

People actually kicked up a stink that the bald black woman wasn't on the poster. Wokeandans, man.

[Guest]

What are her powers again? Why the fuck does she have more screentime than Panther?

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Isn't she the one wielding Wakandan gauntlets that look like she's fighting with sock puppets? That's like the only thing I remember from the Infinity Soy poster, because it looked so darn goofy.

Well, Spoderman is just your average white boy, the super hero most like the comic-reading audience back when comics were fun. He was also made by a, finally dead, pedophile or rapist or whatever I'm sure he's many and all those things. Spider-Man really should've died but they figured totally emasculating him would be the harsher punishment.

You see, the outdated incarnation of Peter Parker was that of a beta virgin who eventually learned to alpha up a bit thanks to taking responsibility (and a nuclear-powered spider).

In the much improved Current Year, this development is seen as negative, as it postulates that Peter would be better getting some of that toxic masculinity.