Remember that brief period after To Boldly Flee when Spoony had headshots taken and deluded himself into thinking he was going to be an actor
Spoony is too lazy to even show up and do a cameo now.
Brad Jones, The Cinema Snob
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Liar Revealed
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Re: Brad Jones, The Cinema Snob
ジュウワリオはもう死んでいる。
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mad bum
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Re: Brad Jones, The Cinema Snob
There's not even the excuse of distance either, Brad probably would of went and picked him up and he still says muh #depression.
SpoilerShow
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Kama
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Re: Brad Jones, The Cinema Snob
Spoony could have played a corpse. That's about all he's good for.
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drisko
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Re: Brad Jones, The Cinema Snob
Prepare to be depressed.
I have a copy somewhere but can never be fucked to rip it. I'll do it someday.
And thanks to the guest who bought so I don't have to. Watched the first couple of minutes and it starts off with that stupid Family Guy "It's not bad if we do the wrong thing as long as we call it out like it's a joke". Might get on it later.
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Re: Brad Jones, The Cinema Snob
What you're all here for:supdood wrote: ↑Fri Jul 26, 2019 11:00 pmFor Rushy, or anyone else who wanted a trip down memory lane to watch the first one.
https://youtu.be/iJGbytc1zII?t=4875
ジュウワリオはもう死んでいる。
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mad bum
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drisko
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Re: Brad Jones, The Cinema Snob
Okay, let's get started.
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So we open to Brad taking a piss, probably the level of effort he put into this script, while Rob, Tamara and a black guy named Korey where they discuss movie cliches, including ones they're going to use.
2:15 - A month earlier, Brad's doing an interview on a radio station, with a host who's resentful that Brad, a film school drop out, is more successful than he is. They show clips from the Snob on some half-assed "Yoo Toob" page and the host says all Brad does is say films suck. Brad tries to say it's a character and that the episodes are varied based on how much he actually liked the movie. The host tells him to his face that he sucks, and Brad commends him for saying it to his face. So they finally get to the topic, Brad's releasing the in-universe version of the Snob Movie. The host asks him if it's going to suck, and Brad points out the dude is definitely walking into this with an open mind. Hmm... I'll keep that to myself for the moment.
6:32 - Brad's in a wardrobe room where some weird guy is sniffing the costumes. Turns out he's Brad's agent, who didn't even bother listening to the interview. Brad says it was fine but he never wants to be interviewed again. Agent points out if he wants to sell a movie, he needs to promote. Brad is worried because as a critic, everyone's going to be more critical of his work. And he doesn't want to get the Snob forever though the Agent, named Steve, points out he wouldn't have the opportunity without the Snob. And there's some other review show that's more popular that everyone wants Brad to be more like but he doesn't. Also, the premiere is tonight and the agent doesn't care. He's smart.
8:12 - Brad's in an uber with Rob, who's watching the shiity review show. Turns out it's a cross between Cinema Sins and Nostalgia Critic. Brad's pissed off about the show, and even more pissed off that Rob hopes that show's going to do the Snob Movie. Brad insists he's not jealous. Rob asks why he became a critic and Brad recaps the first movie dryly. Apparently after all that he decided it was a waste to just throw away the character. The driver points out how fucked up that was.
10:02 - At the theatre, Brad gets on stage before the movie starts and introduces it. A guy asks that if it's shit, doesn't that make him a hypocrite and he should stop reviewing? And there's a knock on CTC. Brad ignores that all so they can start the movie. Brad and Rob sit down, and Brad's still nervous. The movie starts and it's the same opening as the first, except this time Ryan's on board with making the movie because Brad's the chosen one and this is one big Mary Sue fanfic. Then they're in space for no reason. Then Zach Lavoy (I think he was a child star in the 80s, he played the villain in the first movie) comes in and states his intent to kill. Getting some Mechakara vibes here. Then audience is saying Boo, but Rob's insistent they're saying Boo-urns, then they swap roles and Brad's convinced everything's fine. In the movie, Brad frees himself, kills the alien, and gets to bang what might be Jillian in blue make up and a wig. Surprisingly, the audience hates it.
16:00 - Brad goes outside, and then Rob comes out to tell him yeah, there's no salvaging it. Rob's pissed because of this was his last chance and now he's fucked. Brad points out he directed it, and the two go back and forth on who's to blame until they 'fight'. The next day they see the agent who's pissed at them because their fight caused thousands of dollars in damage. Then they look at reviews and it's all bad. Even Doge Walker, who Rob points out is a hack, didn't like it.
19:28 - The title finally comes up, along with the opening credits. The agent tells them that they need Brad's dad, played by Lloyd Kaufman, but Brad refuses. They make up some shit about his career, about making game shows and then dog cop shows, which Brad is embarrassed by. Rob walks out because he paid for the post production out of pocket and is only now finding out about Brad's rich father. Brad says it was out of pride, which Rob points out is stupid. Brad insists there's another option and Steve says they should try comic con.
22:20 - They're at a con selling the movie at a table. People come up and say shit, Brad and Rob argue some more, to the point where they ignore a guy who comes over. Tamara eventually comes over after 20 hours and she was inspired to be a creator by him. Apparently she does covers of songs while talking about her life. Okay, skipping that. I reckon I'm going to get sick of her pretty quick. And the other dude, Korey, shows up. He's a twitch gamer named... Brycicle... Yeah, I can see someone calling themselves that unironically. Rob likes him because he's a "fellow controversy survivor" because he doesn't think circus freaks should have rights. And Tamara goes off to tweet about how much she likes Last Jedi. Then they all leave to get wasted.
29:34 - At the bar, Rob says they only made enough to buy two beers. Tamara comes in shell-shocked about the hate she got. They get shots and talk a bunch of crap about Tamara and Korey maybe having their own show. Rob insists Brad call Kaufman but Brad says they haven't talked in years, he only gets the receptionist. They get drunk and Brad passes out.
33:31 - Brad's doing another review when it turns out he's in a dream about the in-universe Snob movie. Except no, it's the plot of the sequel. Brad starts awake in the back of a van, because they're on a road trip to see Kaufman. Brad tries to explain to Rob why this is a bad idea and points out the other two don't know he's a character. Rob convinces him to go through with it and they do... and Tamara is singing. Okay. Some other pointless conversation to illustrate Korey is offensive and then they go to get gas.
38:12 - Korey is outside leaning against the van when some douche challenges him to a race in his obviously faster car. Korey says he's not going to race but the guy is doing that bit where he's dragging Korey into it against his will. But Korey just ignores it, assuming he's a fan. Back on the road, Brad finds out Tamara used to watch him in middle school and realises how old he is. They start playing the cliche game from the opening, which leads to Rob and Brad listing off stuff in this movie. And then the douche shows up and start shooting at them. Rob insists they get off the main road instead of getting shot
42:50 - They go down a side street and lose reception, so they're lost. They try to figure out where the main road is but can't remember where they came from. Brad calls his agent but he's useless. The others are ordering lunch and Brad says maybe they can stop and ask for directions. Some weird cowboy guy is in the background being creepy and ominous. Then they get garbage thrown on them for mentioning California, then decided to ask for directions.
46:08 - They knock on the door and Laura answers, trying to act seductive and putting on an accent. She immediately knows what they need and invites them inside to get her bananas off the fridge... okay. Brad insults her and Laura starts putting the moves on Korey... okay, he had to know how we were going to react to this, this has to be on purpose. Laura and Korey go off to fuck when Laura's pissed off redneck dad comes in to give the evil eye to the other three. Turns out he's a fan of Tamara so everything's okay.
49:00 - As Brad and Rob leave to end Laura's regular Wednesday night, the redneck is teaching Tamara how to kill pigs with an axe. Then it's time for dinner, Korey forgot to get the directions and Tamara's covered in pig blood. Over dinner, Laura makes some comments about Korey's dick and the redneck calls him a homo for playing video games. Really? Homo is the most offensive thing he could say? Quit being a pussy and call him a faggot. Tamara sings again... really wish she wouldn't, then they say grace... to Trump. Subtle. Tamara leaves because Trump makes her sad, and Brad decides to join her.
52:24 - Outside, Brad insults Tamara and she loves it. They're about to go back inside when they hear a weird noise from the barn. A woman walks out with a hole in her stomach and all her guts fall out. Realising the rednecks are cannibals, Brad suggests they place nice and then drive out of there. Korey is eating up the human ribs, and the redneck dad comments on his muscles. Brad just blurts it out and the rednecks are pretty casual about it. Turns out there were multiple victims and they were on Laura's cheerleading squad, who died because she wasn't on top of the pyramid.
55:45 - Redneck cocks a shotgun and marches them out to the barn. Redneck monologues, and then Rob gets annoyed, whips out a handgun and shoots him in the head. They pile into the van as Laura shoots at them. Of course they don't have the budget to damage the car so she misses. They drive off arguing, and go back to the diner. Tamara has managed to clean the blood off. Brad calls the cops but they're all busy. Laura walks in with a chainsaw and the people in the diner get pissed.
59:15 - A truck is driving after the van but it's over pretty quickly. They decide to sleep in the van. Back in town, the sheriff shows up and takes Laura's side because he's a cannibal too. The next day they wake up and the car's dead, so they go walking. Brad considers just ending the whole thing and doing something easier. Rob points out he'd need to upgrade his equipment but Brad's dismissive about that. Brad and Rob argue about the movie sucking and then they come across Doge.
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Gonna call it there. So far, better than Voice From the Dark. With that I was constantly getting up to do things until I could tolerate the damn thing again. This... it's shit, but a more tolerable shit. It has the same issue as the first movie, Brad's trying to do too much in too little time, and it makes everything weaker, and Tamara randomly singing gets old really quick. The acting isn't that bad, but it's not great. Everything else is fine. As always, Brad and the actors are dragging Ryan down and the mixture of different qualities makes the shit stand out. Especially when they won't stop calling it out.
When Brad announced he was making a sequel, he mentioned he wanted this to be a franchise, hoping to do multiple movies with the character. But the problem is he only puts in as much effort as he has to. He'll probably do a third movie in another five to ten years but I don't think this one is going to get enough to make its money back.
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So we open to Brad taking a piss, probably the level of effort he put into this script, while Rob, Tamara and a black guy named Korey where they discuss movie cliches, including ones they're going to use.
2:15 - A month earlier, Brad's doing an interview on a radio station, with a host who's resentful that Brad, a film school drop out, is more successful than he is. They show clips from the Snob on some half-assed "Yoo Toob" page and the host says all Brad does is say films suck. Brad tries to say it's a character and that the episodes are varied based on how much he actually liked the movie. The host tells him to his face that he sucks, and Brad commends him for saying it to his face. So they finally get to the topic, Brad's releasing the in-universe version of the Snob Movie. The host asks him if it's going to suck, and Brad points out the dude is definitely walking into this with an open mind. Hmm... I'll keep that to myself for the moment.
6:32 - Brad's in a wardrobe room where some weird guy is sniffing the costumes. Turns out he's Brad's agent, who didn't even bother listening to the interview. Brad says it was fine but he never wants to be interviewed again. Agent points out if he wants to sell a movie, he needs to promote. Brad is worried because as a critic, everyone's going to be more critical of his work. And he doesn't want to get the Snob forever though the Agent, named Steve, points out he wouldn't have the opportunity without the Snob. And there's some other review show that's more popular that everyone wants Brad to be more like but he doesn't. Also, the premiere is tonight and the agent doesn't care. He's smart.
8:12 - Brad's in an uber with Rob, who's watching the shiity review show. Turns out it's a cross between Cinema Sins and Nostalgia Critic. Brad's pissed off about the show, and even more pissed off that Rob hopes that show's going to do the Snob Movie. Brad insists he's not jealous. Rob asks why he became a critic and Brad recaps the first movie dryly. Apparently after all that he decided it was a waste to just throw away the character. The driver points out how fucked up that was.
10:02 - At the theatre, Brad gets on stage before the movie starts and introduces it. A guy asks that if it's shit, doesn't that make him a hypocrite and he should stop reviewing? And there's a knock on CTC. Brad ignores that all so they can start the movie. Brad and Rob sit down, and Brad's still nervous. The movie starts and it's the same opening as the first, except this time Ryan's on board with making the movie because Brad's the chosen one and this is one big Mary Sue fanfic. Then they're in space for no reason. Then Zach Lavoy (I think he was a child star in the 80s, he played the villain in the first movie) comes in and states his intent to kill. Getting some Mechakara vibes here. Then audience is saying Boo, but Rob's insistent they're saying Boo-urns, then they swap roles and Brad's convinced everything's fine. In the movie, Brad frees himself, kills the alien, and gets to bang what might be Jillian in blue make up and a wig. Surprisingly, the audience hates it.
16:00 - Brad goes outside, and then Rob comes out to tell him yeah, there's no salvaging it. Rob's pissed because of this was his last chance and now he's fucked. Brad points out he directed it, and the two go back and forth on who's to blame until they 'fight'. The next day they see the agent who's pissed at them because their fight caused thousands of dollars in damage. Then they look at reviews and it's all bad. Even Doge Walker, who Rob points out is a hack, didn't like it.
19:28 - The title finally comes up, along with the opening credits. The agent tells them that they need Brad's dad, played by Lloyd Kaufman, but Brad refuses. They make up some shit about his career, about making game shows and then dog cop shows, which Brad is embarrassed by. Rob walks out because he paid for the post production out of pocket and is only now finding out about Brad's rich father. Brad says it was out of pride, which Rob points out is stupid. Brad insists there's another option and Steve says they should try comic con.
22:20 - They're at a con selling the movie at a table. People come up and say shit, Brad and Rob argue some more, to the point where they ignore a guy who comes over. Tamara eventually comes over after 20 hours and she was inspired to be a creator by him. Apparently she does covers of songs while talking about her life. Okay, skipping that. I reckon I'm going to get sick of her pretty quick. And the other dude, Korey, shows up. He's a twitch gamer named... Brycicle... Yeah, I can see someone calling themselves that unironically. Rob likes him because he's a "fellow controversy survivor" because he doesn't think circus freaks should have rights. And Tamara goes off to tweet about how much she likes Last Jedi. Then they all leave to get wasted.
29:34 - At the bar, Rob says they only made enough to buy two beers. Tamara comes in shell-shocked about the hate she got. They get shots and talk a bunch of crap about Tamara and Korey maybe having their own show. Rob insists Brad call Kaufman but Brad says they haven't talked in years, he only gets the receptionist. They get drunk and Brad passes out.
33:31 - Brad's doing another review when it turns out he's in a dream about the in-universe Snob movie. Except no, it's the plot of the sequel. Brad starts awake in the back of a van, because they're on a road trip to see Kaufman. Brad tries to explain to Rob why this is a bad idea and points out the other two don't know he's a character. Rob convinces him to go through with it and they do... and Tamara is singing. Okay. Some other pointless conversation to illustrate Korey is offensive and then they go to get gas.
38:12 - Korey is outside leaning against the van when some douche challenges him to a race in his obviously faster car. Korey says he's not going to race but the guy is doing that bit where he's dragging Korey into it against his will. But Korey just ignores it, assuming he's a fan. Back on the road, Brad finds out Tamara used to watch him in middle school and realises how old he is. They start playing the cliche game from the opening, which leads to Rob and Brad listing off stuff in this movie. And then the douche shows up and start shooting at them. Rob insists they get off the main road instead of getting shot
42:50 - They go down a side street and lose reception, so they're lost. They try to figure out where the main road is but can't remember where they came from. Brad calls his agent but he's useless. The others are ordering lunch and Brad says maybe they can stop and ask for directions. Some weird cowboy guy is in the background being creepy and ominous. Then they get garbage thrown on them for mentioning California, then decided to ask for directions.
46:08 - They knock on the door and Laura answers, trying to act seductive and putting on an accent. She immediately knows what they need and invites them inside to get her bananas off the fridge... okay. Brad insults her and Laura starts putting the moves on Korey... okay, he had to know how we were going to react to this, this has to be on purpose. Laura and Korey go off to fuck when Laura's pissed off redneck dad comes in to give the evil eye to the other three. Turns out he's a fan of Tamara so everything's okay.
49:00 - As Brad and Rob leave to end Laura's regular Wednesday night, the redneck is teaching Tamara how to kill pigs with an axe. Then it's time for dinner, Korey forgot to get the directions and Tamara's covered in pig blood. Over dinner, Laura makes some comments about Korey's dick and the redneck calls him a homo for playing video games. Really? Homo is the most offensive thing he could say? Quit being a pussy and call him a faggot. Tamara sings again... really wish she wouldn't, then they say grace... to Trump. Subtle. Tamara leaves because Trump makes her sad, and Brad decides to join her.
52:24 - Outside, Brad insults Tamara and she loves it. They're about to go back inside when they hear a weird noise from the barn. A woman walks out with a hole in her stomach and all her guts fall out. Realising the rednecks are cannibals, Brad suggests they place nice and then drive out of there. Korey is eating up the human ribs, and the redneck dad comments on his muscles. Brad just blurts it out and the rednecks are pretty casual about it. Turns out there were multiple victims and they were on Laura's cheerleading squad, who died because she wasn't on top of the pyramid.
55:45 - Redneck cocks a shotgun and marches them out to the barn. Redneck monologues, and then Rob gets annoyed, whips out a handgun and shoots him in the head. They pile into the van as Laura shoots at them. Of course they don't have the budget to damage the car so she misses. They drive off arguing, and go back to the diner. Tamara has managed to clean the blood off. Brad calls the cops but they're all busy. Laura walks in with a chainsaw and the people in the diner get pissed.
59:15 - A truck is driving after the van but it's over pretty quickly. They decide to sleep in the van. Back in town, the sheriff shows up and takes Laura's side because he's a cannibal too. The next day they wake up and the car's dead, so they go walking. Brad considers just ending the whole thing and doing something easier. Rob points out he'd need to upgrade his equipment but Brad's dismissive about that. Brad and Rob argue about the movie sucking and then they come across Doge.
---
Gonna call it there. So far, better than Voice From the Dark. With that I was constantly getting up to do things until I could tolerate the damn thing again. This... it's shit, but a more tolerable shit. It has the same issue as the first movie, Brad's trying to do too much in too little time, and it makes everything weaker, and Tamara randomly singing gets old really quick. The acting isn't that bad, but it's not great. Everything else is fine. As always, Brad and the actors are dragging Ryan down and the mixture of different qualities makes the shit stand out. Especially when they won't stop calling it out.
When Brad announced he was making a sequel, he mentioned he wanted this to be a franchise, hoping to do multiple movies with the character. But the problem is he only puts in as much effort as he has to. He'll probably do a third movie in another five to ten years but I don't think this one is going to get enough to make its money back.
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Moe Bitches
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Re: Brad Jones, The Cinema Snob
when I first came here I said that I gotten an autographed copy and it turned out the movie was mediocre. If you're not going to rip it I would.drisko wrote: ↑Sat Jul 27, 2019 2:26 amPrepare to be depressed.
I have a copy somewhere but can never be fucked to rip it. I'll do it someday.
And thanks to the guest who bought so I don't have to. Watched the first couple of minutes and it starts off with that stupid Family Guy "It's not bad if we do the wrong thing as long as we call it out like it's a joke". Might get on it later.
da PAC Nigguh wrote: ↑Wed Nov 25, 2020 12:06 amShit like this is why satire is dead in currentyear.
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Poonoo
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Re: Brad Jones, The Cinema Snob
Timecodes for this? Veras showed one at 11:11 and someone linked not Lupa dying but I'm not watching all that shit to get to 3 minutes tops of the good stuff.
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