Basements & Beards- Analogue Gaming Thread

[Le Redditeur]

Too bad "tribal" is a consolidated word in the game's vocabulary to describe creature decks based on a certain type, so much so that they made it into a keyword in the fucking game.

I wonder, are MTG sales so good that WotC can just keep fucking their games like that? Isn't Yugioh outpacing their growth or anything?

[Complicity]

How is their pen&paper woke trash doing sales-wise?
Afaik, woke comics are being destroyed by mangos, and Eric July is getting millions for each issue of his comic.
When it comes to vidya, woke shit sells because of the brand, and because bugmen need to consoom.
I don't really know how well a neutered D&D can sell nowadays.

[Kugelfisch]

Good thing netdecking and absurdly dominant strategies that remain in rotation for multiple blocks has ruined Magic for me many years ago.

[Le Redditeur]

I quit Arena a few months ago despite being able to mooch it F2P - coincidentally, just a few weeks before they announced they'd be niggering Tolkien, which would have made me quit anyway.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

How is their pen&paper woke trash doing sales-wise?

Apparently they're doing ok, but the profits are way down (probably due to investments into the next edition, and maybe also all those D&D Beyond subscribers that quit).
As for the individual book sales it's hard to tell. The core books and big supplements always sell, but I don't think shit like Strixhaven (aka Harry Potter, but gay) and Radiant Citadel (aka Glorious Socialist Utopia with sky-high taxes and brainwashing) gets all that many prints after the first one that every SJW in the industry has to buy to signal some virtue.
Updates to their lesser campaign settings probably aren't doing too hot. Spelljammer had the whole fabricated drama about minstrel monkeys, and all of these 5e updates tend to make the settings more boring (by removing "problematic" content) and blander (since the 5e writers don't like to restrict races or classes based on the setting, so everything is allowed everywhere aka everywhere looks the fucking same).
Probably also doesn't help that every campaign setting had at least one older edition with a superior treatment.

A big problem with WotC is that they can't take the easy indie RPG route of doing a Kickstarter to effectively get paid for the book before it even hits print. I suspect they're funneling money from shit like their D&D Beyond subscription service into various vanity projects instead.

Afaik, woke comics are being destroyed by mangos, and Eric July is getting millions for each issue of his comic.
When it comes to vidya, woke shit sells because of the brand, and because bugmen need to consoom.
I don't really know how well a neutered D&D can sell nowadays.

It's mostly the brand here as well. It's a bit like if the capeshit industry only had DC or Marvel. D&D will always sell by virtue of being D&D, and in the short period where D&D sold like ass (the 4e era) it was outsold by D&D with a different coat of paint (Pathfinder 1e).
Though WotC isn't really that good at catering to the woke crowd. Others like Paizo are a bit more clever in that regard. Most of WotC's "improvements" over their "problematic" older material is either a net loss (deleting whole bits of fluff without any replacement) or a different shade of problematic ("These Not-Gypsies are still Not-Gypsies, but now everyone likes them!").

[wulfenlord]

Jizzards of the Cucks is phasing out physical releases, too, all the better to censor errata any flaws they might find :3

In related woke news, Manitou & Co paid their way (or sucked enough inclusive dick) to get an Origin award.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Ah yes, Firewater & Tipis, from the company tha talmost went bankrupt trying to fulfill its Kickstarter goals.
They're also nominated for the Diana Jones Award for Excellence in Gaming, which includes other wonderful candidates like:

• Linda Codega (nominated for being a queer and non-binary journalist; also supposedly responsible for uncovering WotC's OGL scheme, thus making xir the savior of d20-kind)
• Journeys through the Radiant Citadel (the socialist utopia I mentioned above; is nominated for having lots of black writers/artists and therefore being non-eurocentric, whatever that means)
• Rosenstrasse (queer adventures in Nazi Germany before WWII, cause if you're so obsessed with getting killed by nazis you might as well go back to the originals; one of those artsy "RPGs" that are so rules-light they're basically improv theater)
• Cole Wehrle (who is like the only one who'd deserve an award here since he's just some dude making board games, which is more than I can say for the rest)

Jizzards of the Cucks is phasing out physical releases, too, all the better to censor errata any flaws they might find :3

I'm sure they hate that they can't burn all the earlier printings of their monster books that still mention how orcs and Beholders are generally evil
So it isn't quite as bad as you make it out. Physical D&D books are still available in stores. It's just that buying them from Wizards directly is only possible as a bundle that contains the digital version.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Do you recall Limitless Heroics, the 3rd party 5e product that lets you build the retarded/crippled adventurer of your dreams? Which spent like a whole chapter or so trying to justify its existence? The creator is back for more!

Limitless Champions: Disabled D&D 5e NPC Cards & Miniatures

They're painting this as some historic moment because never before has there been so many cripples in one product!

Wyrmworks Publishing prioritizes hiring disabled, neurodiverse, and mentally ill creators for all of our projects, and characters on this project are based on a combination of research and conversations from previous projects, real-world people who commissioned characters based on themselves, and consultation with therapists, advocacy professionals, and people whose experiences are represented here.

Literal self-inserts, huh? I guess that would explain why the character with MS is Jewish or something...


It's basically just a collection of 20 disabled characters with art and miniatures of fluctuating quality. Of course you also get their 5e statblocks, which have been embiggened to include pronouns and what type of -gender the character is.

Of course with this type of cripple fetish book, you get the usual suspects like the above MS, and whatever other kind of ailments can bless you with a wheelchair.
Now some included characters are a bit questionable...

Gooble GobbleShow

You can tell she's blind because... reasons?


How is this different from a character who just happens to shave her hair? And wtf is up with those pronouns?
Also lol that rapier looks like a baseball bat on the miniature.


Dude, you can give any plastic miniature in your collection a cleft palate if you have a knife.


Amputation. Because one of the horns broke off. You gotta be fucking kidding me.


That just looks like a low-quality miniature.


Now this is one of several character suffering from anxiety (which you totally need a dedicated miniature for). I picked this one over the others due to having an emotional support doge.


Of course the Downie would be a product of Rassenschande. Is that even rules-legal?


Is anyone weirded out that both cases of Cerebral Palsy are Tieflings? Is that someone's extra fetish?


Midget Dragonborn? Bitch you're just a Kobold trying to feel special.

And sadly I don't think this will reach the 30k stretch goal that will give us service fantasy animals.

[Kugelfisch]

It's like a grindwheel to hone the edge of my hatred reading that shit.

[wulfenlord]

So this cripple fetishist already jerked off to the combat wheelchair in 2022, and is now doing essentially the same grift again? Why?



Ah, yes, the go-to for hypochondriacs with made-up illnesses.

>Muh totally real ailment that no doctor can pinpoint towards



A quadriplegic barbarian... does the wheelchair at least come with a built-in whirlwind skill?