Doge Walker and Channel Awesome

[JL Unlimited]

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Protosaber

>Protosaber

[Some Sick Fuck]

what was funny was how many people were pissed off about Kylo Ren's crossguard saber, but these were the same fuckwads that loved Darth Maul's suicide saber.

I am not a Star Trek nerd, so besides watching the movies, I know very little, since it simply doesn't interest me that much, but I felt like Dart Maul's off-with-my-legs stick wasn't too bad, because the design wasn't too convoluted. Was it practical? Fuck no. Is Dart Maul a memorable villain? Fuck no, unless you are a drooling idiot that only memorized his face paint and choreographed moves.

When Kylo the Bitch unveiled his crossguard, I laughed, because it looked like a fanfiction of what a teenage edgelord would come up with - "teh elite lightsaber for my OC character"! While it might be more practical, and certainly more reasonable than Dartie's stick, it just felt like adding too much. And I'm guessing that's how Star Trek (relax, it's a joke) nerds see it as well, although where I've laughed, they get mad.

[Guest]

Star Wars autists are the most humorless people imaginable. They take this shit very seriously.

[Guest]

I am not a Star Trek nerd, so besides watching the movies, I know very little, since it simply doesn't interest me that much, but I felt like Dart Maul's off-with-my-legs stick wasn't too bad, because the design wasn't too convoluted. Was it practical? Fuck no. Is Dart Maul a memorable villain? Fuck no, unless you are a drooling idiot that only memorized his face paint and choreographed moves.

When Kylo the Bitch unveiled his crossguard, I laughed, because it looked like a fanfiction of what a teenage edgelord would come up with - "teh elite lightsaber for my OC character"! While it might be more practical, and certainly more reasonable than Dartie's stick, it just felt like adding too much. And I'm guessing that's how Star Trek (relax, it's a joke) nerds see it as well, although where I've laughed, they get mad.

It gets dumber. Apparently the crossguard is actually a pair of exhaust vents because he used a broken core for the sword. But, no, as dumb as a lot of those other things were, the guard really is worse.

If you've ever used a sword, your hand, or more to the point, your wrist WILL hit the whatever guard you're using, even if your doctrine has you keeping your hands down the hilt a bit. And that's with sane quillions, and not the foot-long things he has. Five minutes, tops, and he'd lop off his own hand.

The second joke here is, and this may be stuck back in 'legends' these days, but I remember reading in one of the books (and the fights in the movies don't work without this) that lightsabers simply can't slide along each other. Infinite friction or something silly like that. Within the series' own lore, the crossguards are completely pointless.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

The Double bladed lighsaber and crossguard lightsaber aren't the absolute worse, awful but you can do worse
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Lightwhip
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Lightsaber_pike
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Guard_shoto
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Lightclub
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Lord_Nyax Freaking implanted lightsabers
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Protosaber
These are easily even worse

No light-chucks?

Also, was everyone else disappointed that Rey never made a lightspear? I mean, she carries around this huge metal quarterstaff like her life depends on it, and it even looks like there might be a lightsaber hilt at the tips.

[Seele]

I am not a Star Trek nerd, so besides watching the movies, I know very little, since it simply doesn't interest me that much, but I felt like Dart Maul's off-with-my-legs stick wasn't too bad, because the design wasn't too convoluted. Was it practical? Fuck no. Is Dart Maul a memorable villain? Fuck no, unless you are a drooling idiot that only memorized his face paint and choreographed moves.

When Kylo the Bitch unveiled his crossguard, I laughed, because it looked like a fanfiction of what a teenage edgelord would come up with - "teh elite lightsaber for my OC character"! While it might be more practical, and certainly more reasonable than Dartie's stick, it just felt like adding too much. And I'm guessing that's how Star Trek (relax, it's a joke) nerds see it as well, although where I've laughed, they get mad.

It gets dumber. Apparently the crossguard is actually a pair of exhaust vents because he used a broken core for the sword. But, no, as dumb as a lot of those other things were, the guard really is worse.

If you've ever used a sword, your hand, or more to the point, your wrist WILL hit the whatever guard you're using, even if your doctrine has you keeping your hands down the hilt a bit. And that's with sane quillions, and not the foot-long things he has. Five minutes, tops, and he'd lop off his own hand.

The second joke here is, and this may be stuck back in 'legends' these days, but I remember reading in one of the books (and the fights in the movies don't work without this) that lightsabers simply can't slide along each other. Infinite friction or something silly like that. Within the series' own lore, the crossguards are completely pointless.

The only sole purpose of the crossguards from I've seen is to painfully burn people's shoulders as they scream like howler monkeys. Huckleberry Finn's reaction seems to be proof of this.

[Tony Schiavone]

The Double bladed lighsaber and crossguard lightsaber aren't the absolute worse, awful but you can do worse
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Lightwhip
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Lightsaber_pike
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Guard_shoto
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Lightclub
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Lord_Nyax Freaking implanted lightsabers
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Protosaber
These are easily even worse

No light-chucks?

I am seriously disappointed there is no Lightaxe.

Also, was everyone else disappointed that Rey never made a lightspear? I mean, she carries around this huge metal quarterstaff like her life depends on it, and it even looks like there might be a lightsaber hilt at the tips.

A Lightspear would probably be the most practical weapon, assuming the haft were made out of that metal that repels lightsaber attacks (from Old Republic books). Otherwise in a duel it might not work depending on the length of the ... lighthaft?. On the battlefield, though, it would definitely rip.

[rabidtictac]

Lightspeer is so practical I'm shocked they never did it. You don't need to worry about the spear haft being cut because there are no fucking lightsaber users in the star wars universe, or almost none. Even if there were, you could always swap to a lightsaber if one showed up. It's not like a glowing lightsaber is hard to spot.

Spears > swords for many reasons. And guns > all.

Kylo's crossguard is truly trash-tier btw. You'd just cut your hand off with that shit, and it doesn't even protect the hand from other lightsabers, since there are massive fucking gaps where the beam doesn't cover.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

A lightaxe would've been perfect for a Gamorrean Jedi (which I am certain have to exist somewhere in the EU).

Or how about a lightfan? It initially looks like a lightsaber, but then you crank a dial and it spreads out.

I'm also literally shocked and amazed that it took until Rebels to introduce a blastersaber. That's like the only variation I can think of that just expands upon the normal lightsaber without requiring special training or other stupid downsides.
I mean, dude, you can slice and shoot without even having to change your grip. Plus you can design the hilt in such a way that it looks like a somewhat weird blaster pistol for easier disguises.

[da PAC Nigguh]

I'm also literally shocked and amazed that it took until Rebels to introduce a blastersaber. That's like the only variation I can think of that just expands upon the normal lightsaber without requiring special training or other stupid downsides.

What the fuck? Is that the Star Wars equivalent of a gunblade?