Spoony the Pussy One: Life is in the Render Queue

[Guest]

That lsat half hour of his stream showed that 1. Spoony still has stories. 2. Spoony still hsa opinions. 3. Spoony still likes to talk. Why he doesn't just make vlog vids on any of these topics is just beyond me.

Is it true that you can't make money off of youtube anymore which is why they all go for patreon and sponsors now? Maybe that's it? Why bother making a vid that gets 30K views and nets you 4 dollars?

[Tony Schiavone]

So he can keep complaining, of course.

It's been long enough now where Spoony doesnt even WANT success. If he somehow found it, he'd want to get rid of it as fast as possible. He's invested his entire psychological self in being miserable.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Why upload a vlog on YT when you can instead stream your lazy ass in an environment that highly encourages the loyal listeners to pay him in realtime?

*peak kino*

But whose feet will we get to see ?

[GuestWrong]

How long until he claims to have COVID? I'm gonna go with another week - that gives him time to drop some subtle hints first, like "this stupid cough is killing me" and "medicine costs so much its not even worth going out for it anymore"

[Singh'sSpot]

He can't have it since he doesn't go out and doesn't interact with anyone, that would be some cringy shit right there of he claimed to have it.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

At least he has his totally real CPAP ready to safe his life. He could write dozens of tweets about how uncomfortable it is, just like in the good old days.

[GitGud]

https://twitter.com/MailOnline/status/1 ... 51872?s=20

He could become a Nigger if he plays his cards right.......but if that would happen more often it would be worst than zombies

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

>the Wu Flu turned me into a Survivor of Color


EDIT: Sheeeeeat, what if this is what that "racist" commercial was preparing us for all this time?!

[GitGud]

[Kugelfisch]

I'm looking forward to Tarantino's Spoony movie; it'll end with Spoony shooting up his fans and Channel Awesome.

first draft scriptShow

EXT. RAN DOWN APARTMENT - NIGHT

A FAT LOSER, male, 31, wearing a t-shirt with a dated pop culture reference that is visibly old stands in front of his apartment door. He's holding a paper bag with groceries in one hand, fishing for his keys in his pocket with the other. He pauses for a moment, realising HIS DOOR is already slightly opened.

FAT LOSER
What the fuck?

He carefully fully opens his door, standing in his DOORWAY he takes a peek into his dark apartment. In his gaming chair he can just about make out the shadowy SILHOUETTE OF A PERSON.

FAT LOSER
Uh...h-hello?

SILHOUETTE OF A PERSON
(quiet but impatient)
About time you showed up, BRONIE89.

BRONIE89
Wha- who are you? What is this?

BRONIE89 shifts the bag of groceries to his right arm, fishing with the left for the light switch.

SILHOUETTE OF A PERSON
(getting agitated)
Who I am? You're asking me who I am?

BRONIE89 turns on the light.

INT. RAN DOWN APARTMENT
A small, one-room apartment, littered with empty bags of chips, empty bottles of MOUNTAIN DEW (product placement). Sitting in a computer chair we see SPOONY, a mid 35 year old man with long, black, greasy hair, wearing a heavily stained t-shirt and pair of shorts. He is pale and looks deranged.

SPOONY
(loud, angry)
YOU are fucking asking me who I am? Who the fuck are you?!

BRONIE89
(visibly confused)
Spoony?

SPOONY
That's what they used to call me.

BRONIE89
(confused and nervous)
What are you doing here?

SPOONY
(snarky)
What are you fucking Phelan now?

BRONIE89
(laughing but still unnerved)
Ha ha, good one, Spoony! But you disappeared a year ago. I used to follow you on twitter and used to watch your videos all the time. They helped me through some-

SPOONY
(angrily cutting off BRONIE89)
YEAH YEAH, I know, dark times! I've had some dark times of my own, you know?

BRONIE89
I know, losing your house and-

SPOONY
(defeated)
Everything. I lost everything. That's why I came here.

BRONIE89
(very confused)
So, uh, you looking for a place to stay?

SPOONY
(calm)
No. I just wanted to remind you of something. Do you remember what you told me before I left twitter?

BRONIE89
Uh, no.

SPOONY
You said I should just start making videos again. But you also said something else before that.

A reflection in SPOONY's hand catches BRONIE89's attention. We see that SPOONY is holding a chrome-finished revolver.
BRONIE89 gets nervous again, quickly looks away from the revolver and tries to distract SPOONY.

BRONIE89
Oh, uh, uuhhhh, w-what would that be, SPOONY?

SPOONY
(gleefully)
What are you looking at? This?

SPOONY presents the revolver.

SPOONY
(sinister)
This is a little present from my brother Miles. Don't you worry about that now.
Well, let me refresh your memory. You said to me to take all the time I need. ALL. The time. I need.

BRONIE89
(close to panic)
Uh yeah. Sure. Take all the time you need! I know yo-

SPOONY
(shouting angrily)
Then why the fuck would you tell me to make videos again?

BRONIE89
I- I didn't mean it that way, SPOONY, honest! I was just trying to help you.

SPOONY
(calm again)
Yeah, that's what Shooter_Andy said as well.

SPOONY stands up from the chair and points the revolver at BRONIE89.

SPOONY
And then he got shot. Ironic, isn't it?

DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. RURAL Cucknadian TOWN - DAY