IN Rhapsody-A Musical Saga of Nobodies

[Old Black Man]

Chronicling the lives of INs in jukebox musical parody fashion, first up is...

Lupa-Parody of Lola by The Kinks

I met her at a con for Channel Awesome
Where autists reign and the entire place smells like cum, C-U-M cum
I saw the old cunt sitting alone at a booth and when I asked her name in a ghastly voice she said Lupa, L-U-P-A Lupa
Well I’m not the worlds most educated NEET but she got really pissed when I said Quantum Leap was kinda dumb, D-U-M-B dumb
Well I’m not bright but I can’t understand how she says she in her 20s but she looks like my gran’ma my Lupa, la la la la Lupa

Well I walked away and later that night I felt a hand on my ass and turned around in fright fr fr fright, frig fright
She said dear boy come up to my room, because I’m attracted to you and want to put something in your brown eye
Well I’m not the worlds toughest guy but when I looked in her eyes I almost cried in front of Lupa
La-la-la-la Lupa
La-la-la-la Lupa

We went to her room
She pulled down her pants
I fell to the floor
She forced me on my knees
I tried to crawl away so desperately

Well I’m quite frankly embarrassed to say
But I was almost a victim of tranny rape by dear Lupa, la la la la Lupa
Guys will have cocks and pretend to be girls
It’s a mixed up terrifying fucked up world thanks to Lupa, la la la la Lupa

Well I’d left Holland just a few weeks before
And I didn’t expect to get raped by some tranny whore like Lupa, la la la la Lupa
But dear Lupa seemed to think this was rich
She knocked me down and said she’d make me her bitch my dear ASS, A-S-S ASS
Well now I’m the worlds most vigilant man
And I can point out the girls that are secretly trans
Just like Lupa, la la la la Lupa

[Old Black Man]

Just reposting this here for active sake.

IN Rhapsody-Parody of Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen

Is this a real job? Is it just fantasy?
Made up a fake career
To escape from reality
Open your eyes
Look at my views and see
I’m just a poor IN
Nobody watches me
Because YouTube’s bad, my kahntent blows
Billith high, views are low
Any way the patrons go
Really fucking matters to me

Paypigs, just betrayed a man
Wrote a doc about his site
Commended him cause he’s white
Paypigs, ooooh
When I asked you for some cash
I didn’t mean that squalor 5 bucks a month
Pay me more, pay more me, because your lives don’t matter

Too late, my channels gone
I think I broke my spine
Unspecified illness all the time
Goodbye viewers I’ve got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and kill myself
Spoony, ooooooh
You’re not gonna die
Sometimes I wish you’d never made videos at all

I see a little manlet of an IN
Doge’s a douche, Doge’s a douche, vids has no set schedule
Shit effects and lighting, black cocks are enticing me!
Granny Lupa Tranny Lupa, Granny Lupa Tranny Lupa is so old, and a ho! Ho oh oh oh!
I’m just a cockslut, nobody loves me, he’s just a cockslut, from a christian family! Paying his billth with his ad revenue!
Easy sub easy view, will you enable ads? Bismilllah! No, we will not turn on ads!
Enable ads! We will not turn on ads! x2
Turn on ads! (Typical Linkara demanding)
Oh granny Lupa granny Lupa, granny Lupa Peso Joe!
Beelzebub has Doge Walker forsaken me? Because I’m a complicit bitch nigga?

(Doge solo)
So you think you can betray me and ruin my life?
So you think you can drain me and leave my website to die?
Can’t recover your revenue, can’t escape your doom
Just gotta get out, just gotta get out and get a real job

Nothing really matters, anyone can see
You niggas don’t matter, can’t compare to me

Anyways your brains blow out

[Kugelfisch]

Pilot - Magic



Oh ho ho, he's lazy, you know. Never believe it's not so! x2
Always half away-hake, never seen a daybreak.
Tweeting about Trump in the dark baaasement.
Orange Man is bad, twitter in his head,
crazy tweets secluded from the moooorning light.

Oh ho ho, he's lazy, you know. Never believe it's not so! x2
Is he going to stream today? Will he watch some MMA?
Is the Spoony movie already reeeendering?
No he will not play games,
not even Tekken 7, mate
He'll tweet about WWE and coooomics all night.

Oh ho ho, he's lazy, you know. Never believe it's not so! x4

[Kugelfisch]

Dexy's Midnight Runners - Come on Eileen




Come on paypigs!
Come on paypigs!

Poor old DS Pig,
had some taxes to pay but then anyway spent his money like a dipshit,
spent it all away,
save him you paypiggies!
You will yes you will pay them those taxes,
now and better soon than never come on paypigs,
you must now step up and go donate,
or the pig's gonna lose his house now!

Come on paypigs!
Oh I swear.
You paypigs!
At this moment. You must pay his bil​ls!
You pay the bil​ls!
And you don't get shit.
Just a shout out.
Oh come on paypigs!

Come on paypigs!
Christmas' coming near,
Phil needs a new TV and Kat a sous vide at some really expensive restaurant,
but Phil is not paying since that is your job pigs,
so go right now to tip the Polak right now!,
you must now step up and go donate,
or he'll lose yet another soulmaid!

Come on paypigs!
Oh I swear.
You paypigs!
At this moment. You must pay his bi​lls!
You pay the bil​ls!
And you don't get shit.
Just a shout out.
Oh come on paypigs!
It must be a tip!
Twitch's cuts are a shit.
Now go on do your job,
Oh come on paypigs!

Come on! Come on you paypigs!
Now come on, he needs your dough right now, come on!
By now you should know, he needs your dough! Oh, paypigs!
Come on paypigs!
His goutmansion is,
so threatened now.
Now you must pay, more than ever,
things will never change.
I say, you must now step up and go donate!

Come on paypigs!
Oh I swear.
You paypigs!
At this moment. You must pay his bil​ls!
You pay the bil​ls!
And you don't get shit.
Just a shout out.
Oh come on paypigs!
Come on paypigs!
Oh I swear.
You paypigs!
At this moment. You must pay his bil​ls!
You pay the bil​ls!
And you don't get shit.
Just a shout out.
Oh come on paypigs!




PS: This is some high effort shitposting. I even bothered to make it comprehensible from the gang shouts and trick the wordfilter.

[Old Black Man]

Those were brilliant Kug. I’m glad to see someone else getting in on the parody spirit.

[Old Black Man]

Nasty Cockslut - Teenage Dirtbag by Wheatus

His name is Lewis
I have a meme about him
He’s a Judas, to autistic Doge Walker
Oh how he sucks
Big fat black cocks
But he doesn’t like the chicks
But only if they don’t have dicks in their pants

Because he’s just a nasty cockslut baby
Yeah he’s just a nasty cockslut baby
Puts puppets up his fat ass baby with Harambe, oooh

His girls got a dick
She shoves it in his butthole
And his parents would disown his ass if they knew the truth
He like a fat cock
To lick and to frot
But he is totally straight
And he hasn’t gained any weight, no rly

Because he’s just a nasty cockslut baby
He’s just a nasty cockslut baby
Turn off Adblock and watch him maybe, jeeeew!

Oh yeah! Cockslut!
He likes to take a fisting!
Oh yeah! Cockslut
He loves a good dicking!

He’s gotten so old
It’s 2018 and his videos are autistic gold
He’s so fucking fat, he needs a new hat

How is he still around?
And how can he wear that brown fedora?

I’ve got $100 to give you baby
And $200 to give you next month maybe
I’m just a filthy paypig baby for you, oooh!

Oh yeah! Cockslut!
He likes to take a fisting!
Oh yeah! Cockslut
He loves a good dicking!

[mad bum]

Pilot - Magic

Thumbs up just for the good song.

[Kugelfisch]

Nasty Cockslut - Teenage Dirtbag by Wheatus

Nice job trying to keep rhymes and rhythm intact.

[Kugelfisch]

An easy one:
Three Dog Night - One

Lupa is the loneliest IN that you ever knew.
You may be as bad as one but she's the loneliest IN since Brad Jones is done.

"No." is the saddest experience that she'll ever know.
"Yes, I will stay with Doge. Bros before hoes."

'cause Lupa is the loneliest IN that you ever knew,
Lupa's the loneliest person, oh worse than you.

It's just no good anymore since Brad went away,
now she spends her time, wanting views of yesterday.

Lupa is the loneliest IN,
Lupa is the loneliest IN,
Lupa is the loneliest IN that you ever knew.

Lupa is the loneliest,
Lupa is the loneliest,
Lupa is the loneliest IN that you ever knew.

Depressed like shit everyday since he went away,
BRAD JONES!

Lupa is the loneliest,
BRAD JONES!
Lupa is the loneliest,
BRAD JONES!
Lupa is the loneliest IN that you ever knew.
BRAD JONES!
Lupa is the loneliest,
BRAD JONES!
Lupa is the loneliest,
BRAD JONES!
Lupa is the loneliest IN that you ever knew.

[Kugelfisch]

Let's add a twist! One person names a song, others have to make a text for it. The rules are simple:
1. The song has to have lyrics and enough of them.
2. The new lyrics have to be about something talked about on DHI. Preferably INs but it can be anything that's come up here.
3. One should be able to sing the lyrics to the song with the intended rhythm and rhyme structure mostly intact.
4. No shittastic cancer troll songs. Actual music. Any genre is fine as long as the song adheres to 1. Well-known songs are preferable but not a must.
5. A source must be available. One must be able to listen to the song somewhere. YT and Soundcloud would be fine choices.

I'll propose the first song:
Dire Straits - Money for nothing
Basically writes itself, I'd say.