Movie Thread

[Keith Chegwin]

I quite like OHMSS, but it lacks Connery's charisma as a lead. And honestly, I'd have loved to see him try and act vulnerable.

The irony of Secret Service is that, many years later, Connery said it was exactly the kind of film he wanted to do

[Rushy]

I quite like OHMSS, but it lacks Connery's charisma as a lead. And honestly, I'd have loved to see him try and act vulnerable.

The irony of Secret Service is that, many years later, Connery said it was exactly the kind of film he wanted to do

No shit, it was the only film where Bond wore a kilt(l would pay money just to see Craig wear one now).

[CuckTurdginson]

Like a faggot (or cuck rather, better stay on brand), I just got back from Ready Player One and:

Its bad. You knew that much already. I haven't seen many of the conventionally bad Spielberg movies, the only one I can compare RPO to is Crystal Skull, so in that respect RPO is both more ambitious and more obnoxious, if that makes any sense.

Some things I liked:

I liked the technique, and the visual style. There are some great shots and camerawork, as should be expected. The effects are innovative and creative, and surprise you in unique and different ways. Its like Avatar, where the effects are great and the story is ass. Except Avatar was better than this.

There are little moments sprinkled throughout that I enjoyed. I liked during the big final battle when it would cut to the real world and it would be a bunch of people in headgear running around like idiots.

There are a few moments like that; and moments that seem like they're too stupid to be taken seriously. Like the main guy lives with his aunt and her dickhead boyfriend and her boyfriend gets mad when people bother him because he's addicted to the game too. There are a lot of moments in this movie that hint at what it could have been like. This seems to me like it had the potential to be a really great satire in the vein of something like Starship Troopers where the story moves along but the tone is more disingenuous and mocking. But as RPO progressed, its clear the film wasn't quite smart enough for that.

I liked how it considered inflation, like how a million/trillion dollars doesn't mean as much in this future as it does now.

This is less a good thing and more the absence of a bad thing. There's no real embarrassing acting in it, which might be Spielberg at play again. This does come off like the kind of movie where there'd be a Hayden Christensen type performance where the actor just falls flat on their ass, but everyone's ok given the material.

And....the other stuff:

There's a fuckton of narration explaining the mechanics of the world, and we don't really spend any time with this kid, Wade Watts. He talks about his parents being dead and how he has to go into this game to escape how shitty his life is but it feels like he's reading a grocery list. The viewer has no emotional attachment to what's going on. Like the fucking studio spent so much money on this CGI and this world doesn't feel lived in because all of the details are glossed over in narration. I'm going to get shit for mentioning Black Panther, but you're allowed to spend time in Wakanda without it being spoonfed to you, which works to the movie's benefit in the long run.

The villains make no sense. At first its established that they want the keys that the creator of the game left behind (the macguffin, whomever gets the three keys gets access to this guy's trillions). Then when Wade makes progress getting the keys, the main baddie blows up his house and murders his aunt and no one says anything until right at the very end and if everyone was just going to keep mum about him blowing shit up why bother with the game?....He doesn't get any development either, our first introduction to him is the narrator telling the audience that he's a "dickhead." Well, ok. Show, don't tell, plz.

Most of the movie is spent inside this game, and there's no real stakes. If you're going to have most of your movie in a virtual setting, you might want to develop a way the main characters can get hurt to make us care.

And the fucking references. However obnoxious they seem in your head, multiply that by 20. It was fucking mind numbing. It felt like an old script by Seltzerburg.

The creator of the game is worth touching up on. The movie is centered around them digging in his head for clues, and this has to be the most autistic character in a work of fiction. The first time we see him not giving exposition he's describing to Simon Pegg how one of his dates wanted to go dancing so they went to a movie. Its later revealed that movie was The Shining, which........why. Its the same bullshit as with Wade and the guy's dialogue sounds like Linkara wrote it.

God, there's probably other shit, but the movie's just not good. It pained me to sit through it. I racked my brain for why Spielberg actually agreed to direct this piece of shit and I think I have an answer. Near the end, when Wade wins the keys to the city and becomes the game CEO or what the fuck ever, he says that he closes it down two days a week so everyone has to go outside and experience the world, and I'm like, "Spielberg wanted to be an old grandpa." He sees these kids with their vidya and is like, "remember to go outside now and don't stay there playing those games." It makes the most sense, tbh. That's a very late period Spielberg decision to make.

Ready Player One will make for a great Plinkett review if that hack fraud ever gets around to it.

[Guest]

They murdered Kubrick and let this faggot live. Fuck everything.

[Guest]

Spielberg's always liked the idea of video games. He wants to design them and be involved but doesn't want to actually play them. Not sure what attracted him to RPO. He's starting to suck though. Bridge of Spies and that damn newspaper movie were hard to get through.

[Rushy]

And now it's another Indy

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Indiana Jones and the Curse of the Sequelitis.

(Is Shia LaBeouf even sane enough anymore to reprise his role as Junior Jr.?)

[Keith Chegwin]

They'll probably recast him. They're likely to use the character because they need someone young to do all the running around. If Harrison Ford injures himself at his age it'll be a death sentence

[Rapeculture]

They'll probably recast him. They're likely to use the character because they need someone young to do all the running around. If Harrison Ford injures himself at his age it'll be a death sentence

Shia is probably on the outs with Spielberg anyways, ever since Shia very publicly shit on Crystal Skull.

[Keith Chegwin]

Well Shia's probably very salty because Spielberg said that if he fucked him he'd take him to fame and fortune.