Shadow Dream Girl - A Bennet the Sage Psychological Horror Tale

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

And he gave dramatic readings of fanfics, so double yes.

[pibbs]

The DHI Autistic Book Club

Shadow Dream Girl
by Bennet “The Sage” White
Chapter 6: A Whiff of a Flamer
protected by Fair Use, bitch

First paragraph:

In the furthest corner of Millie's, adjacent to the back office, was the rarely-perused “Cult” section. A hodgepodge of differing films from differing eras of differing genres, it was a collection of misfits whose reputations had preceded them. It was the home for the likes of The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Eraserhead, Dolemite, and The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension.

Now his college thesis on movie genres for a few pages. I'll copy and past a random section.

they couldn't be situated comfortably with the likes of The Shining or The Wedding Singer, then they would at least be comfortable together. Let them be where they can fit, them and Phantom of the Paradise, Slacker, Heavy Metal, and Ian O'Riordan.
It was one of the few places in the store that Ian didn't have to arrange and re-stock every day, on the count that there were fewer and fewer films released that could be considered “cult”; a fact that Ian accepted with equal parts sadness and relief. Ian liked the fact that this section was left mostly alone. It had become a place for him to respect the films on display, as if he were a patron in a museum, bearing witness to the weird and wonderful history of underground movies, B-Movies, and other odd-ball movies that just so happened to find their audience ten or twelve years after they were released. To Ian, saying that he worked at a video rental store sounded like he was admitting that he wasted his life, but saying that he was a “curator of culturally-significant, cinematic oddities” felt as fulfilling as it was ostentatious. If only he had more opportunities to say it.

Stan is flummoxed Ian is going to watch a movie with the Brians. It's not interesting, and not worth copy and pasting.

“So, I ask again: why in the name of Michael Fassbender's objectively luscious cock are you willingly spending your time with these hateful, annoying, and dumb assholes?”

Bennet confirmed for faggotry.

“Stan, it's all I have!”

This is the book isn't it? Some soy faggot whining about how mundane life is. There's no supernatural events, or specters, no other dimensional mind-fuckery, nor Saya. It's just a faggot crying.

Oh no.

Oh no.

I just flipped through the rest of this chapter and its as long as the previous two combined.

Ian gets mad that Stan seems to pity him. A lot of ado over Stan saying, “It can't be helped,” about Ian. This, of course, goes on forever.

“I guess you're right. There is no helping it.” Ian's voice trailed off to a mere whisper. A part of him vainly hoped that his admitting it would get Stan to stop looking at him like he was a dying dog, but no luck.

Uh... there's a whole bit that Ian thinks it's October when it's really November. His month to inventory the porn DVDs.

Another long bit about the VHS collection. Whether it's a treasure or trash.

Stan insisted otherwise, reminding him that having a film in an outdated format was better than not having that film at all, and that there might be a customer that would love a chance to rent a tape again.

Ian stocks the porn. This is multi page activity.

Worse still were the bewildering men who clutched their masculine pearls, loudly petitioning the counter to get rid of the store's gay and transgender porn, as if having it there was somehow ruining their viewing experience of Edward Penishands.

There it is. There's the leftist social-political commentary I was expecting.

We get a fascinating memory of cleaning cum out of the carpet from a man who jerked it in this section and then took off out the store.

And then... just... here...

That the section also had the audacity to house a number of porn titles that advertised themselves as being made for women, or “female-friendly” as some titles preferred, made Ian snort derisively. In his entire time in Millie's, neither he nor Stan had ever rented a porno to a woman, whether it was friendly to her or not. Both Ian and Stan agreed that while it was “better” to have that part of the section, they also agreed that it was mostly done out of some kind of need to pay lip-service to some imaginary standard. Rhetorically speaking, if a man should have the ability to rent the porn he likes, why can't a woman? Then again, should there be such a woman that would want to rent one, they would have a better experience doing it anywhere else than by slumming it in Millie's. Ian couldn't figure out if this said more about women or men.

Okay. It seems Bennet has been hinting at something here. That Ian is losing memories? Mandela effect? Something.

Ian found himself stalled on a single case. Its spine facing out toward him, and its title reading Burning Desires in a bold font, Ian was confounded over its existence. Though he didn't remember ever stocking the DVD, it didn't bother him, as it easily could have been stocked by Stan. But, as he tried to cross-check it with the binder, he found that it had no corresponding disc. Did somebody just leave a porno in the store?

And suddenly... PLOT HAPPENS!!!!

Flipping the case over, Ian noticed the cover; a single photo of a nude woman against a curtained backdrop, posing in a textbook seductive manner, with hips jutting out to one side and arms folded behind her head, exposing her full, ample breasts. She had a fair, almost porcelain complexion, with tiny freckled blemishes dotting her shoulders. Her curves tapered seductively in toward her waist, before tapering back out to accentuate a full, supple butt that Ian couldn't help himself from noticing. Long, firm legs that showed careful sculpting guided his eyes down and back up, easily leading his elevator gaze. He found the shape of her body more than just enticing, it was inviting. He felt like he was being begged to see her, all of her. Her most intimate, personal areas may have been hers to have, but they were his to see. Draped over her arms were long, feathered strands of bright red hair that seemed to flow in defiance of gravity. Ian's heart skipped a beat and jumped into his throat; he had a special fondness for red hair, which he could never fully explain. A quirk of his own internal sense of human attraction that he didn't go into very often.

IAN GETS HORNY!!! But alas, her face had been burned off the cover by a cigarette. This (as everything else) is a long section. Read it if you want. But we just found our titular woman. Ian fantasizes about her in the most milquetoast kind of way.

MORE SOMETHINGS HAPPEN!!!

As Ian imagined more of her body that he couldn't see, a peculiar smell started to make his nostrils flare. The musty, chemical smell was replaced with a harsher, more acrid scent of burning plastic. He refocused his eyes to see that the case had suddenly started smoldering, smoke lifting from the burnt spot as if it had been re-lit. Stupefied and dumbstruck, Ian could only watch with mouth agape at what he was holding. But as the DVD caught full flame, instinct and survival grabbed a hold of his senses. Dropping the case onto the floor, he proceeded to stamp on it to try and put the fire out.

The DVD done burnt all up. Ian desperately sifts through the ashes to find any details on the woman. So this chick lit a metaphorical fire in Ian, and he starts to cry over the loss of the DVD forcing him to return to the mundane.

Then...

...someone was placing their hand on him, and it was only getting hotter and hotter. The hand had successfully forced Ian to acknowledge it by turning his head toward it.
There, resting on his shoulder, was a hand completely engulfed in flames.

End of chapter.

Huh.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Man, I confused that last chapter's ending for a thrilling cliffhanger. Must've been my desparation kicking in.
So all he needed to see a path out of the dark times was to look at some porn cover?

Ian found himself stalled on a single case.

Very Ernest Cline. Why just write "Ian stalled on a single case"? That's way too active of an event. Better have Ian finding himself stalling, as if he's just a passive observer of his own actions.
Also pads out the sentence some more, which is always a mark of quality writing.

[Kugelfisch]

Man, a third into the book and we get a vague semblance of a plot? Don't rush it, Bonnet! Take all the time you need! We wouldn't want to get into the beginning of the first arc too quickly over here!

Seriously though, is this the inciting incidence? Does this nigger think he's writing Memento? Ian would need to be interesting for that to work. There would need to be some intrigue, some reason to want to see what he will do and what will happen.

Oh and that unpronounceable last name is the same as the dead singer of The Cranberries.
Wanna bet the line "what's in your head; zombie" from the only song anyone knows from that band is the reason Ian carries her name?

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Man, a third into the book and we get a vague semblance of a plot? Don't rush it, Bonnet! Take all the time you need! We wouldn't want to get into the beginning of the first arc too quickly over here!

Oh, how I wished this worldbuilding could've gone for the entire book. Then the real plot could've had an entire book of its own

(No kidding. I'm reminded of Rebel Moon and Acolyte fags who insist that a lame start is a necessary sacrifice for the glory that will surely await us at the end.)

[Complicity]

I've never watched Bennet the Fag. I'm assuming he's the most boring man on the planet.

Doge but reviews animu and dumber.

There it is. There's the leftist social-political commentary I was expecting.

>nazis want to take my shemale porn away reeee

No right-winger gives a flying fuck if gay and tranny porn exists.
At best you have Christcucks who want to ban porn completely, and most people simply want that shit kept away from children.

Ian stocks the porn. This is multi page activity.

This is where Benito's true knowledge and passion shine.

The DVD done burnt all up. Ian desperately sifts through the ashes to find any details on the woman.

I've heard she has a Twatter account. Fighting the Yakuza or some dumb name like that

[ebin namefag]

Oh and that unpronounceable last name is the same as the dead singer of The Cranberries.
Wanna bet the line "what's in your head; zombie" from the only song anyone knows from that band is the reason Ian carries her name?

The book is Benito's Jeff Mangum fantasy of saving Dolores Rickriordan.

[pibbs]

The DHI Autistic Book Club

Shadow Dream Girl
by Bennet “The Sage” White
Chapter 7: Are You Fucking Kidding Me??
protected by Fair Use, bitch

Ian opens his eyes and he's sitting on the Brians' couch.

No, I checked. I didn't skip a chapter.

“I don't know.” Ian could only summon a meek whisper. “I just fell asleep.”
“Well, you must have had a hell of a nightmare.” Weissbart had made his way to a nearby recliner...

If I had a physical copy of this book, I would have thrown it across the room. A part of me is really hoping there's some time/dimensional shifting or something going on, because if I'm just wasting my time on a story about a guy's waking dreams on top of his whining pussy ass, then I seriously need to reevaluate my life.

“I have narcolepsy with cataplexy.” Ian recited. “Cataplexy? What's that?” Parr leaned his head forward with the inquiry.
The Brians followed script quickly, far quicker than Ian had anticipated, and it only made him feel more on edge, “It means that I lose control of my muscles and I collapse.”

Lindsey = sexy space raptor story with heavy political-social commentary set in the Bush Era

Brad = a cheesy nod to B-movie schlock

Mike Jeavons (yeah, you forgot I reviewed that) = a kids fantasy tale, that I have completely forgotten what it was about

peeRod = a masturbatory self-insert, Harry Potter wanna be story.

I compare because it's surprising how out of all the INs, Bennet's book is not scifi nor fantasy, but a character study of a mentally-ill nobody doing nothing. At least he's trying something new?

It fails, horribly, but it's different.

Anyway, Ian spends several pages explaining to Jay and Silent Bob all bout his condition. Nothing interesting here.

“How long have you had it?”
“Since I was a teenager.”
“Can you fall asleep anywhere?”
“Technically, yes. But it's mostly tied to my emotional state.”

“What kind of medication?”
“Anti-depressants. Amphetamines, mostly.”
“So, like speed?”
“Kind of. They're chemically similar, and no, I can't give you any.”

He had since a teen. He can fall asleep anywhere.. look do y'all even care about these details? Because there's nothing else going on so far.

Uh... they talk about movies, which I'm seeing a pattern here. Is Bennet just trying to show off his knowledge of moviedom? What a douche bag.

We get the Brian's origin story how they meet. At a B horror movie double-feature. One was wearing a MSTK3000 t-shirt...

“For the love of God, shut the fuck up, you blithering idiots!”

Thank you.

Ian rants about their filthy apartment. Insults them (for a few pages) and shames them. Ian is invited to leave. He does but he needs directions, since he doesn't remember going there.

A few pages about his walk home, describing places and the people of those places in that “this is important commentary on society” that Bennet seems to love babbling about. And Ian doing that introspective thing.

Uh... Ian accidentally makes eye contact with the homeless man from before. This seems important as it goes on for a couple of pages.

Ian desperately wished that he could drive a car.

End of chapter.

Unbelievable.

At this point the only thing keeping me going is my need to know if there are there supernatural things going on, or is this all there is?

[wulfenlord]

In the furthest corner was the rarely-perused “Cult” section with Rocky Horror Picture Show, Eraserhead, Dolemite

Ah yes, that cult of smartass movie reviewers.

Michael Fassbender's objectively luscious cock

Hah,gay.jpg

November. His month to inventory the porn DVDs

lawl so randum, #NNN

men who clutched their masculine pearls

Argh, no, I've been burned so hard by this leftist rhetoric

the audacity to house a number of porn titles that advertised themselves as being made for women, or “female-friendly”

Of course Benedetto would find this thought otherwordly and/or sexist. I can think off the top of my head of 4 women that like the raunchy Lady Chatterley shit. But it's understandable, since Benetton only gets hard to shemales.

Oh and that unpronounceable last name is the same as the dead singer of The Cranberries.

I knew I heard the name O'Rickrolldan before!

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

You know Benito, I don't think the Goosebumps book shtick of cliffhanger fakeouts is doing your book any favors. It was annoying af then, and it is even more annoying now because nothing is happening in your book.

Mike Jeavons (yeah, you forgot I reviewed that) = a kids fantasy tale, that I have completely forgotten what it was about

Me, too.
I've also completely forgotten about Brad's book