Spoony the Pussy One: Life is in the Render Queue

[Guest]

His fanbase was dying off long that, yah dumb fuck. Only the sexually confused dregs of his viewership ever bothered to turn up for his livestreams.

[Guest]

I bet he looked out the window

Sort of like Cloud swapping himself in for Zack in FFVII

Hope that Spoony have his big tiddy fighter GF to help him in Lifestream.

[Guest]

How much money do you think it would take to proposition Spoony for sex?

It would have to be some sort of realistic number. I can't just give him a million dollars, right? But it also has to be enough for him to say yes. I also need to maintain my position of respect at the bargaining table. In other words, I can't just lowball him and then say, "No? Well, what about if I double it!" Spoony is the type of dude who would feel insulted if you lowballed him. Also, no one wants a desperate dude on their D and that would come off as desperate.

I was thinking 1,000 bucks. But considering he won't sit around and play videogames on camera for 1,000 bucks for an hour of work, that might be too low. Then there's also the fact that Spoony is firmly in the closet. So he'd probably protest the fact I'm a dude to maintain his machismo and add to his negotiating position.

So I was thinking 10,000. I mean, how can you possibly so no to 10k? If a clean well kept dude comes up to you and says I want to suck you off to completion and I'll give you 10k, here's the briefcase full of money, go ahead and count it... Alright, now lets go. How can you say no to that?

But, god, 10k is a lot of money. It would take me a long time to save that much money up. Then once I had it, it would be like, fuck man, I just spent 10k to suck off Spoony for a half hour. That was totally not worth it. What am I doing with me life?

So I have it all worked out in my head- this is all in Minecraft mind you. I knock on the door, Miles answers. Miles steps outside and frisks me to make sure I don't have any weapons before letting me in. Spoony is sitting on the couch, manspreading, with a cigar in his mouth. He's wearing his Spooning with Spoony silk robe while petting THAC0 like he's some super villain like Dr. Claw or something. I hand the money to Miles to let him count it.

Miles matter of factly states, "It's all there Spoony. Enjoy." He turns away for a brief moment with his tight faced pouting grimace before turning back around with his gun drawn. "Listen, Bruce, we don't think anything will go wrong, but if it does I'm going to blow your brains out all over Spoony's D."

I look back over to him and with a wink I say, "I wouldn't have it any other way."

Spoony doesn't look or act anything like I expected from the reluctant Twitter chat. He's prepared, excited, and confident. He's even a little giddy. With a vocal fry that can only be described as forced he tells me, "It's been a long time since I've gotten my D wet from anyone other than Miles- I mean, any at all. Lets giddyup now. Do you mind if I put on Highlander?"

I'll leave the rest to your imagination, heh, heh, heh

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

How much money do you think it would take to proposition Spoony for sex?

You want Spoony to do something?

[Guest]

Spoony's disastrous Fallout 2 livestream is now 6 years old. This livestream is as bad a decision as Putin invading Ukraine.

[Guest]

How much money do you think it would take to proposition Spoony for sex?

You want Spoony to do something?

I want him to sit there while I pleasure him.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

You could offer him 10 million and an entire harem of Playboy bunnies, and he probably won't even reply.

[Complicity]

How much money do you think it would take to proposition Spoony for sex?

Even if the Red Dragon would come back on her knees, begging him to allow her to become his full time mommy, servant and sex slave, he would still say no just to spite her.

[RedLine]

How much money do you think it would take to proposition Spoony for sex?

Spoony doesn't care about money. Miles the ACE takes care of all that stuff now.
Sorry, I don't think there's anything you could do to motivate him to let you suck his dick.
Filmbrain would let you do it for just some compliments though.

[Guest]

You could offer him 10 million and an entire harem of Playboy bunnies, and he probably won't even reply.

I imagine that if Scarlett and April both showed up in Playboy bunny outfits, with a giant novelty cheque for his remaining debt, and dedicated their lives to be his maid slaves he would be happy for about a day or two. Then he would go back to moping and whining like he always does. His ego is so great that he feels he deserves much more than that, and nothing short of God-King of the world would satisfy him. Even if he made it in Hollywood he would become quite depressed.