Spoony the Pussy One: Life is in the Render Queue

[Captain Ahab]

Of all the esoteric Spoony Lore, the missing link known as Scarlett currently fascinates me the most. I've just spent the past hour trawling the Internet for more information about her, and my search has led me back to here.

Let me begin by saying, Scarlett is living proof that the old wisdom "once it's posted on the internet it's there forever" is complete bullshit. The woman has scrubbed her online imprint extremely well. All that remains of are a few photos, most of them heavily doctored/myspace angled to appear somewhat non-hideous.

Apparently, however, these are not good representations. Apparently this was a woman so unattractive that even Spoony's sycophants at the height of his fame couldn't resist calling him out on it when she first appeared in his Mashable acceptance video. He was never quite the same after it. It was perhaps the beginning of his vitriolic attitude toward his fans. In this sense it's like Scarlett was the anti-Helen of Troy. Instead of starting war because she's so beautiful, she caused an fanboy civil war over how ugly she was.

My morbid curiosity longs to gaze upon this beastly visage, but static photos can not fully capture a person's appearance, as we all know. I need to see this monster for what she was, in motion and in 3D space.

That mashable video is unfortunately lost to the void, but my search through this thread brought up someone saying there was another video of her out there. Apparently she can be seen dancing in some TGWTG karaoke performance at some con. I've tried to find this vid to no avail. Does anybody here have it?

[Guest]

You get a free dremel necklace which each purchase of the official DHI Rachel Dakimakura (tm).

But does it contain enough Warrior Spirit?

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

It has been certified for maximum Destrucity by a picture of Spoony in Ultimate Warrior cosplay.

[casual pleb]

Eh, I believe there are some Scarlet photos, from which you kinda see, that yeah - she's incredibly ugly, technically not as ugly as Rachel per se, but there's definitely some kind of inhuman like quality about her, like when you watch one of those documentaries about people with severely deformed faces.

[Kugelfisch]

I've never seen a video of her, just a screenshot of the Mashable video. I remember wanting to watch it but I had to run an errand. By the time I was back it was purged already.

She was an absolute unit, though.

[Guest]

Didn't she have a make up company or something? I remember stunbling across the website a year or two ago. Seemed recent enough

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Eh, I believe there are some Scarlet photos, from which you kinda see, that yeah - she's incredibly ugly, technically not as ugly as Rachel per se, but there's definitely some kind of inhuman like quality about her, like when you watch one of those documentaries about people with severely deformed faces.

Spoony has seen this creature naked, the memory of which slowly turned him into the man he his today.
He knows he can never find happiness. Not after what he saw.

[Guest]

Didn't she have a make up company or something? I remember stunbling across the website a year or two ago. Seemed recent enough

^ yes it took me literally 2 minutes

https://www.jlynne.com/mineral-makeup/about-us.html

[rabidtictac]

There are no videos of Scarlett on the internet anywhere. Even on DHI 1.0, we didn't have any. Just that one photo I remember monty using. No videos. She baleeted her shit hardcore. Spoony was so ashamed after the video she appeared on that he turbo-memoryholed that.

The only way a copy could exist is if some troll from 10 years ago downloaded the video in the brief time it was up. Spoony may have one, but he'll never release it.

I find her shit personality more interesting than her shit looks, myself. By all accounts, she made the spoony forums miserable for everyone with her stalinist moderation policies.

It's also worth pointing out that spoony fans from back then were much more "normal." They often gave spoony shit in the comments sections on his videos when he was being a bitch. So you shouldn't be surprised they said Scarlett was fat/ugly. The extreme transsexual depression hugbox came later.

[Guest]

All I remember about Scarlett is her triggering his lolcow status by making him flip out on twitter, whereupon she immediately started gloating saying things like "See, I told you!" It's obvious she took his virginity and was his first love (if a creature like Forky is capable of such a thing) since he didn't flip out over the last chick like he did the Ginger Assassin.

A lot of old fans like to blame her for the emergence of Bad Spoony, but he was always awful as we know from his old early 2000s forum posts. It was joining TGWTG that ruined his style by adding skits and characters; yet he probably would have gone that direction anyway even if he remained independent because everyone was copying Doge.