Spoony the Pussy One: Life is in the Render Queue

[Guest]

If Noah was taking heroic doses and Robo tripping he'd be a lot less of a shithead than he is.

Remember he equated ketamine under therapeutic conditions (one of his gimpy simps' ideas) with "buying meth" and "I'll tell my brother the cop about that one huh." It's the kind of thing you'd see in a cheesy anti-drug ad from the '90s which he likely believed 100%.

He is fundamentally a coward so my guess is if he's doing anything he's going for straight vodka and gin because it's legal. But I think there's a good chance he's not really doing much of anything. People suggest alcohol or drugs to explain what one man's intense dedication to doing absolutely NOTHING will do to the human body. Shit, I gained about 15 or 20 pounds during COVID and I feel like my body is starting to decay from random aches and muscle strains that never would have bothered me before.

I think it's just Noah, sitting in a chair in his basement, subsisting off salty processed food and sugary drinks, not even engaging in the bare minimum of activity that even fatties will do. How long do you think he goes between even getting dressed, much less doing a wash? The few dozen calories that fatties expend just hurling their weight is probably more than he expends in a day.

Even his speech — what he attributes to his 8 year bout of "bronchitis" in his last stream just sounds like one of those weird shut-ins who don't talk to people. Notice how he halts mid-word or mid-sentence, like almost someone who doesn't speak English natively. You see this in shut-ins because the connection between thinking and speaking has broken down. He's become the platonic ideal of NEETdom: fat, bloated, hairy, unkept, wearing 10 year old t-shirts and unable to return a polite "hello."

It's really flattering to assume he's a drunk or a junkie or something. I'd actually respect that more than a guy who just sits in front of a computer in a dark basement endlessly scrolling tweetdeck.

[Kugelfisch]

But you have to admit that his bronchitis excuse would be really handy to get that there sizzurp prescription.

Him feigning ignorance means nothing. The biggest drunks will often pretend they wouldn't even crack a can of beer while grilling because that's at daytime and totally degenerate, dude.

While he's always been a lazy asshole, we can't get around there being a pretty drastic break around the time he popped the 5k a month and it was time to make his movie.
He's got substance abuse written all over him.

[Guest]

He's not doctor shopping for prescriptions. That's obviously more work than he's willing to put in. If he's abusing any substance, it's definitely something that he can buy at the local mini mart.

[Guestfag]

I call bullshit on bronchitis saga. He doesn't live the goddamn house, how can he get infected? Unless he's such dirty fag he doesn't even wash his hands.
Also, he sists whole day on his ass in home, so even if he somehow got it, he would recover fast anyway. I somehow doubt he does drugs, because after all he has no fucking money, unless we talking shit like cannabis. Drug dealers are out of the question and he would already hang himself. He's just your regular drunk hobo that is in every small town or countryside that does nothing but drink all day.

[Kugelfisch]

You'd be amazed what you can get if you eat nothing but garbage and sit in a sunless basement for years.
Ever heard of space herpes?

[Guest]

But you have to admit that his bronchitis excuse would be really handy to get that there sizzurp prescription.

Maybe I'm wrong but don't they diagnose this with a chest xray? Certainly someone who claims to have bronchitis for 6 months.

[rabidtictac]

Spoonfag claims they've already done everything for him except admit him, which he totally can't do you guise because that BITCH APRIL LEFT ME!!!!

(It's not possible at all for him to find family members to help him, or pay a nurse with money earned from making videos for the internet...)

[Rushy]

except admit him

[Liar Revealed]

I'm going to call total bullshit on coughing so hard that he broke his ribs. I've never heard of that happening to anyone ever. Not unless he had some sort of bone disease.

[rabidtictac]

I'm going to call total bullshit on coughing so hard that he broke his ribs. I've never heard of that happening to anyone ever. Not unless he had some sort of bone disease.

Gives off big "drug addict" vibes to me, like he was huffing paint thinner or some shit.