Spoony the Pussy One: Life is in the Render Queue

[Guest]

I go to Home Depot all the time, no one there has ever offered me bacon.

No hardware store has ever offered anyone bacon. Noah is writing fanfiction about walking his dog.

You've never seen the long open kitchens at Home Depot? They're between the paint thinner and the swinging fans of death.

Let's not bury the lede though: what would a useless piece of shit like Noah even need at a home improvement store? Fertilizer so his grass grows even thicker? Solvent to scrub out the metric ton of dried dog shit stuck in the carpet? N95 masks to guard against the black mold that probably is so deep entrenched it's achieve sentience and cleans up more than he does?

It's branch time. Finally going to make the yard look nice, yup yup yup.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

I don't believe a single word of this.

Pictures or it didn't happen.

And... oh, what's that? Stomping onto the scene. It's the revered film critic with her own acclaimed blog:

What I would give to peek into an alternate reality where Spoony loved the Snyder Cut... :3

This tweet is pretty mild and I still get the feeling she will block me anyway.

I think being mild is useful when dealing with her since her almighty reported.gif will have a lower chance of success.
She will try anyways, though.

[Guest]

No hardware store has ever offered anyone bacon. Noah is writing fanfiction about walking his dog.

You've never seen the long open kitchens at Home Depot? They're between the paint thinner and the swinging fans of death.

Let's not bury the lede though: what would a useless piece of shit like Noah even need at a home improvement store? Fertilizer so his grass grows even thicker? Solvent to scrub out the metric ton of dried dog shit stuck in the carpet? N95 masks to guard against the black mold that probably is so deep entrenched it's achieve sentience and cleans up more than he does?

Wood, hammer, nails - something to build altar and banish ghost from his house.

Auli is going to follow that fucker all the way back to Arizona

[Some Sick Fuck]

I don't believe a single word of this.

Clearly, Liquid took over the original account. This fucking thing out of nowhere - where is the whining from muh basement?! Lord Spoony is just casually going to leave his house and enter such pleb establishment as Home Depot, and takes the corpse of his long deceased dog with him? Humbug, I say!

I mean, this must be some sort of "dark times" type of humor that he likes to do, when it seems like he is trying to make a joke, but doesn't even know what humor is anymore. Or he has found out that when he spices his "doom and gloom" routine with ocassional "hero" moment, he gets more attention.

This tweet is pretty mild and I still get the feeling she will block me anyway.
How is it possible that someone that is so fat is also so thin skinned at the same time?

Get a Roman Reigns avatar, maybe she will keep you around.

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Get a Spoony avatar, she will definitely keep you around.

[Singh'sSpot]

Maybe he was buying rope to finally off himself

[Kugelfisch]

Did these fucking things ever work? I remember someone once saying to use toothpaste for scratches.

They do with limited success. I got about 50% revival rate with it.

Scalper Cat turns the crank the opposite direction to scratch the disc more.

[mad bum]

I use a automatic one, nigger

[casual pleb]

He probably dreamt about it, I bet he haven't left the house in months.

[Guest]

Home Depot is dog friendly but I don't believe for a second that this useless motherfucker went to one. Probably browsed the site online and remembered he had the dog.