"Class of 86" - Brad Jones' Masturbatorial Book Debut

[pibbs]

Brad wanted hs "they'll never see this coming" moment. Logic and motivation be damned.

[RedLine]

It would have been so easy to pull off something better though.
>Laura and Vic find a Laura clone sex slave in the school basement. Laura either mercy (or in a panic) kills the clone. Then Fletcher kills original Laura and Vic for taking away his "girlfriend".

Or if that's too much work just have Fletcher say to Bryce and Lexi that he is going to clone Laura later on using hair and a fingernail off her corpse.

[Dehbashi]

Exactly. He just wrote things because either it worked in the source material or because of shock factor and didn't think on how to make it work

[Dehbashi]

Or another way to do the cloning is that he kills Laura because he doesn't need her since he already cloned her and the new Laura is in his belief better than her in any way. That's what I thought he was going to do.

[pibbs]

Or another way to do the cloning is that he kills Laura because he doesn't need her since he already cloned her and the new Laura is in his belief better than her in any way. That's what I thought he was going to do.

Ditto

[VoiceOfReasonPast]

Bottom line: I've read Goosebumps books that were more scary and coherent horror stories.

Or another way to do the cloning is that he kills Laura because he doesn't need her since he already cloned her and the new Laura is in his belief better than her in any way. That's what I thought he was going to do.

If he wanted to do anything even halfway interesting with this he'd have Laura killed early in order to stealthily replace her with a murderous clone.
Or have her suggest they go to the high school and then reveal she had been replaced by a clone years ago.

I agree. Did Fletcher even do anything to get the Scooby Gang to show up at the school? Didn't Bryce just drive the group there by chance after getting kicked out of the acid rain shelter? In Slaughter High the revenge nerd sets up invitations to a fake reunion, but it's just serendipity in Brad's book?

They just randomily decided to go where their eternal arch nemesis has been brooding, hoping to one day get his just revenge on them.
And it just so happens to fall within 10 years of their graduation.
What a great bit of storytelling.

Chapter 17: A chapter that was a waste of time. To a Fletcher just randomly sniffing Sally's hair. To Sally stabbing a Fletcher clone that way. To randomly carrying heads of random people on spikes. Not interesting in the least.

If Fletcher's so smart, how come many of his clones are apparently acting stupid on purpose in order to get mowed down? What is even the point? He's already established that there's an arbitrary amount of them around. Killing them left and right to inflate the body count doesn't do anything.

[Complicity]

If Fletcher's so smart, how come many of his clones are apparently acting stupid on purpose in order to get mowed down? What is even the point? He's already established that there's an arbitrary amount of them around. Killing them left and right to inflate the body count doesn't do anything.

I assume the Bidens had a hive mind kind of will, thus not minding committing sudoku for theatrical effect.
An army of fiercely loyal Lauras would have made more sense.

Rod coming out of nowhere with a RPG. It feels like the flashback in Chapter 15 was to justify bashing Christianity with the implication that Rod wouldn't do this if he had those beliefs.

I don't know why Brad kept insisting of being Christian in his old videos, when he's a cokehead shitlib and hates them with the same passion of a Reddit neckbeard with a banana up his ass.
That's where Rod was storing the RPG, btw.

She is then pierced through the throat by a javelin through the locker door.

Not a single creative bone.
And i love that he referenced a slasher movie whose killer is a washed up Lia Thomas.

Kurt walks in on a jock attempting to date-rape Lilith.

UUUUUGGGGGGHHHH! -Brad Jones

Don't worry, it's just a prank, Kurt,” Fletcher laughed. “Now we're even.”

Soon Kurt's clothes and flesh start to melt off until he was just bones, because, you know, those are immune to acid.

...those bones rested in the puddles of what had been the softer parts of Kurt...

Nice one-liner nerd, too bad that Rats' Kurt was the character who specifically didn't remember who the fuck you were.
And a vat of pure acid would be way more effective than rain diluted acid, but Brad is dumb.

This is basically a slasher short, padded to hell and back with useless shit.

Basically a slasher in which the slashing happens in the final 10 minutes, and the rest is about shitty, unlikable people being shitty and unlikable, having flashbacks about being shitty and unlikable even back then, picking fights with a former Christian turned piece of shit like them, and some shallow pop culture name drops.

[Complicity]

Final thoughts:
I was expecting nothing but insufferable stupidity from Clarabella Ortega and the Bayformer Dildo, but i was expecting at least one chuckle out of this.
Expectation subverted.
A Troma product this is not, Brad.
Maybe it's because those weren't written by people who lived in an alternate reality in which Trump is Hitler and Biden is a great president who's rebuilding your country.

[Complicity]

What made Slaughter High work is that the killer lured the other classmates there by sending letter for a fake high school reunion. So he set it up to do the killing spree unlike Fletcher.

Slaughter High was dumb as fuck too.
When the bullies in the movie noticed that
1. The building was abandoned, dilapidated and locked down
2. No one was invited at the reunion but them
They could've
1. Left immediately
2. Had their gay party outside the school, and then leave without trying to break into the building
And Nerd wouldn't have been able to kill them at all.

There's also an idiotic murder scene that makes Deep Red's look scientifically accurate, in which a naked bitch takes a bath and acid pours out of the faucet instead of water - somehow not melting the bathtub, or the pipes.

Class of 86 is even dumber, but i'm sure, like i've already said, that Brad and the welfare collectors who watch him will go for the "it's a homage to Troma/Slaughter High" excuse.

[Kugelfisch]

There's also an idiotic murder scene that makes Deep Red's look scientifically accurate, in which a naked bitch takes a bath and acid pours out of the faucet instead of water - somehow not melting the bathtub, or the pipes.

She is just being drowned in a bathtub of scalding hot water. Dunno where you got that acid part from but it sure as shit isn't in Deep Red.