LAST FUCKING CHAPTER!!!!
Chapter 18:Final Exam
Or IT'S OVER! Thank God Almighty, It's Over at Last!!!
A DHI Book Club Discussion by pibbs
Lexi and Bryce make for the boiler room, to meet Freddie Kruegar or some shit, I guess. They agree they need to cause a gas leak.
Uh, why? Blow up the building you die too. Acid rain outside.
Nevermind, they need to find *checks notes because I forgot already, Lilith and Kurt. They circle back to the cafeteria, where Rod and the chicks be dead still.
And in the makeshift class reunion sat 100 Fletchers patiently seated. A Fletcher was at the podium on the stage. He welcomes them but can't remember who they are exactly. Lexi demands to know which is the real Fletcher, but they all are Fletcher Van Patten, you see? Silly girl.From the direction of the gymnasium, they heard the sound of numerous people foot stomping and clapping in unison.
Two Fletchers escort them to their seats.
He gives a speech. It's dumb. He smarter than they are even though he had been a loser back in high school, but he wins now blah, blah, blah. Only thing that matters is power *yawn He pounds the podium for Hitler like effect, I guess.
Putting the speech away...
A Fletch plays Here Comes the Bride on a piano. The other clones stand and face Lexi and Bryce aiming rifles at them. But before they can fire, a bullet-ridden Rod bursts into the gym with a fucking RPG!!!“Now we are going to hurt you. It is a wedding present, so that our bride can finally be alone with the rest of us.
They run, Rod fires, body parts go everywhere. He gives them his radiation suit to use as cover so they can run to the van. Rod keeps the grenade vest. The Fletchers that survived go after them. Lexi wishes she could have gotten to know Rod better, and Rod wishes that too. Lexi and Bryce make it to the van and duck under the tarp into the van.”Lexi, Bryce! He shouted. “Get the fuck out of here! Graduation is over, and we're going out partying!”
Rod heads for the boiler room to also let the gas out. Bryce never mentioned this BTW. Also, Lexi and Bryce never learn Kurt and Lilith are dead. Guess Brad forgot that.
Anyway, Rod busts some gas pipes, throws the grenade vest under a tank, and fires a rocket. Half the school goes up. The explosion rocks the van. Lexi declares she has always loved Bryce all these years. Bryce assures her they have a lot of years to come.
They pass out from
They wake up the next morning. The rain had stopped. They can't see out because of the tarp. They get out to gawk at the smoldering high school, half blown away. Lexi crawls into the debris to fetch a couple of rifles, and then to the cafeteria to retrieve that fucking boom box. With one last look to the school Lexi says...the amount of heat and steam that was taking over the interior of the van.
”I'll miss you guys,” Lexi sighs. “Kurt was an asshole. Lilith was a moron. Diana was better than all of us. She certainly better than Vic. Rod was...,” she paused to find the right words. “I don't know what Rod was like, but I feel like I misjudged him. But they were all ours, right?”
They get in the van and leave with Mike and the Machanics singing Silent Running on the boom box.Will we forget them?” She fought back a tear.
THE FUCKING ENDAs they traveled down the road, they kept smiling. Even though they didn't know what the future held for them, the bright blue sky gave them a little bit of hope that at least it would be better than the previous day, or the previous ten years, and definitely a helluva a lot better than high school.
Conclusion: What could have been a so bad it's good book, and the sheer nuttiness of it would have made this a fun read. But once I learned this is basically a copy and paste hatch job with terrible Brad wink wink jokes to the reader, and childishly written gratuitous sex, and offensively bad woke takes, I wasn't have fun anymore.
Still... it's better than Space Raptor and the Stupid Bitch with Daddy Issues.
